Walking Dead Chappelle’s Show

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Dave Chappelle

Negan

Tyrone Biggums

Andy Johnston

Donnell Rawlings

Chuck Taylor

Lil’ Jon

Clayton Bigsby

[Starts with Dave Chappelle in the SNL stage]

Dave Chappelle: You know, gang, all week long people have been asking me if I was going to do any characters from Chappelle show tonight. And at first, I wasn’t going to. And then, I saw that episode of Walking Dead where they smash this guy Glenn on head and killed him… I know, it was devastating, coz I love that show and Glenn was one of my favorite characters. So, I was like, frust. So, in that spirit and with that in mind, I hope you enjoy this.

[Cut to Walking Dead video bumper] [Cut to a man walking and whistling. There are few other men there.]

Negan: I just cannot decide. [He has a baseball bat with throned wire on it] Which one of you is gonna dance with death tonight. [There are few men on their knees before Negan] Wait, I got an idea. Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?

[Cut to Tyrone Biggums scratching his neck]

Tyrone Biggums: Bubblegum? I’d like two please. My mouth feels dry

Negan: Oh, he’s a feisty one. I like that.

Tyrone Biggums: Well, with all due respect, Mr. Negan, in my line of work, when you’re on your knees, they won’t give you bubblegum. They give you penis.

Negan: Shut up!

Andy Johnston: A nigga named Negan. I think you look more like a Stephane. Your face looks like Nigro league.

Donnell Rawlings: [laughing] Stop it, you’re killing him.

Andy Johnston: Them some ugly ass boots you got on there. As the white boys say on the internet, what… are those?

Negan: Something funny to you, Drippy? Dry and brittle jerry curl. Disgrace! [looks at another man] Look at this pasty bastard.

Chuck Taylor: Oh god, no. [starts crying]

Andy Johnston: God! Have some god damn respect for yourself.

Negan: Man the fuck up.

Chuck Taylor: What do you want? Money? Sex? Sex, isn’t it?

Tyrone Biggums: I’ll try some sex.

Chuck Taylor: I have a wife.

Lil’ Jon: What?

Chuck Taylor: I have a wife.

Lil’ Jon: What?

Chuck Taylor: I have a wife.

Lil’ Jon: Okay.

Chuck Taylor: Come on, man! All lives matter. All of us, right?

Andy Johnston: No, black lives don’t.

Lil’ Jon: Kill us for what?

Negan: Well, well, well.

Clayton Bigsby: I know that smell in a way. Frustration and cocoa butter. Looks like we got us a negro monsters. Put that down, monkey!

Negan: Monkey? Don’t you realize you’re black?

Clayton Bigsby: Yeah. For what I hear, this hat will say otherwise. [wears Trump’s ‘make America Great Again’ red hat] Trump’s America now, boy.

Chuck Taylor: [whispering] It sure is.

Negan: Well, I stand corrected. Seems like a lot of you still got some fight in you. It’s good. I like that. Makes it more fun. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry–

Lil’ Jon: Hah?

Negan: Yeah. A lot of you will be doing some of that.

Tyrone Biggums: Nice.

[Negan hits Tyrone Biggums’s head off his body.] [Tyrone Biggums’s head falls down on a rock. He’s still looking at Negan.]

Hey, Negan, which one of us are you going to hit? The suspense is killing me.

Negan: Taking it like a champ.

[Negan hits Tyrone Biggums’s head with the bat, but his head rolls away.]

Tyrone Biggums: Strike one.

Lil’ Jon: Yeah.

[Negan hits Tyrone Biggums’s head with the bat again, but his head rolls away.]

Tyrone Biggums: Strike two. Gotta be faster. Body! Help me out!

[Tyrone Biggums’s body runs and picks his head up.]

Andy Johnston: Note to self, remind me to try crack.

Tyrone Biggums: As long as we as a nation begin to heal, through laughing together. [everything disappears and we can only see his head on blue background.] For even though our country seems irrevocably severed like a man from his head, let my example prove that we should continue to move forward. Let us see ourselves in one another. For only empathy can conquer hate. I am every man. I am every woman. It’s all in me. Everything you want done baby, I do it naturally.

[Cut back to Tyrone Biggums’s body holding his head]

Now let’s break out, y’all. I only got two months until they take away my health care. Body, if you will?

[Tyrone Biggums’s body starts running with his head in his hands.]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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