Colin Jost
Michael Che
Bobby Moynihan
[Starts with Michael Che on his news set. There’s a picture of Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton on right top corner.]
Michael Che: A new poll in New Hampshire shows that Bernie Sanders is leading Hillary Clinton 60% to 33, said at Clinton Stafford just before being force choked.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Peeps at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: The makers of Peeps have launched a new online campaign to attract millennial mothers. Oh, sure, but when I try to attract millennial mothers I’m disrupting a Lamaze class.
[Picture changes to Khloe Kardashian]
Khloe Kardashian revealed that she recorded a sex tape with her now ex husband Lamar Odom, or as Kardashians call that, first base.
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of snow blizzard in New York city at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Alright, let’s check in again with the conditions outside with your friend who always says, “It’s not that bad.” How does it look?
[Cut to Bobby Moynihan frozen in the blizzard]
Hey, man! Are you okay? Hey, you okay man? Alright, cut the feed.
[Cut to Michael Che]
I guess it was that bad.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a calendar marked at 24th January at left top corner.
Colin Jost: Today was national compliment day. [pause] Dad.
[Picture changes to few cats and California map]
A California woman has turned her 12 acre ranch into a home for more than 1,000 cats. Reached for comment, her husband left 10 years ago.