Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of Pizza Hut at left top corner.]Colin Jost: In honor of 50th anniversary of the Superbowl, Pizza Hut is giving away pizza covered in edible gold. So kind of look like you won a giant gold metal in the Olympics of sadness.
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a calendar marking February, 2016 at right top corner.]Michael Che: This week marks the beginning of a lot of white news anchors telling you it’s Black History Month.
[Cut to Colin Jost]Colin Jost: This week marks the beginning of Black History Month. Back to you Michael.
[Cut to Michael Che]Michael Che: I never say why do people complain so much about Black History Month. It’s not like you actually have to do anything. There’s no test at the end of it. You don’t have to buy us a gift. There’s no tree. At the most, you gotta sit through a few MLK commercials. And who is so racist that when they watch 30 seconds of ‘I have a dream’, they’re thinking, “Play a white speech.” By the way, this year is a leap year. So there’s an extra day of Black History Month and I’m gonna use it to honor the 29th most important black person in history, [Picture changes to Scottie Pippen] Scottie Pippen.
[Picture changes to marijuana]A California company has created a new marijuana based vaginal suppository to help women suffering from menstrual pain. And ladies, if you’re lucky, it might give your boyfriend the munchies.
[audience laughing] [Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che]It’s a thinking. [laughing]
Colin Jost: It’s not a thinker!
