Weekend Update 2

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Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of Donald Trump at right top corner.]

Michael Che: At a rally Baden Rose this week, Donald Trump singed the hand of a toddler. The message sweetly and simply, “Deport me.”

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Ted Cruz at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Just yesterday, Ted Cruz pulled a new campaign ad after it was revealed that a woman featured in the ad was a former softcore porn actress. And once you know she’s a porn actress, the guy’s entrance at the end of the ad is a lot more fun. Here it is.

[Cut to the ad]

Woman: Maybe you should vote for more than just a pretty face next time.

[They are having a focus group meet] [A man walks in wearing Marco Rubio t-shirt]

Man: You guys have room for one more?

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: I’m beginning to think that started as a porno and then they just ended up talking about Ted Cruz. I mean, listen to it again with a music turned up.

[Cut to the ad]

Woman: Maybe you should vote for more than just a pretty face next time.

[They are having a focus group meet] [A man walks in wearing Marco Rubio t-shirt] [porn music playing]

Man: You guys have room for one more?

[Cut to Ted Cruz]

Ted Cruz: I’m Ted Cruz. And I approve this [dubbed in different voice] porno.

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: All seamless voicover.

[Picture changes to North Korean flag]

Us officials say that the satellite North Korea launched into orbit is tumbling and incapable of functioning. Earning it the nick name, Marco Rubio.

[Picture changes to Peyton Manning]

Anheuser Busch is saying that Peyton Manning was not paid to say that he was going to say he wanted to drink a lot of Budweiser after the Super Bowl. And I guess it was just a coincidence that he left the field on a wagon drawn by clydesdales screaming, “Wazzaup?”

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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