Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his set. There’s a picture of a prison cell at right top corner.]
Michael Che: A prisoner in Colorado who was convicted of crack possession is demanding a DNA test claiming to be the biological son of Prince, or, and hear me out, he’s just a crack head.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Hillary Clinton at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: UFO enthusiast have declared that Hillary Clinton is the first ET candidate after she pledged to release government files on UFOs and area 5Colin Jost unfortunately the aliens keep all their files on a private email server. Sucks.
[Picture changes to a sign of Unisex Toilet]
Conservatives around the country have introducing bathroom bills which they say will prevent people from posing as transgender and sneaking into bathrooms to attack kids. So I guess their point is if you’re a pedophile and you were born a man, you’re not allowed to sneak into the women’s room and attack girls. You’ve got to stay in the men’s room and attack boys. I don’t understand why we have any bathroom laws anymore. Anyone could just walk into any bathroom at any time. If I’m at a Mexican restaurant, [Picture of two doors, one sayind ‘Damas’ and other saying Caballeros’.] I choose the wrong door 50%. My Spanish just isn’t that good. I think the real irony of this bathroom bill is that ‘Bathroom Bill’ sounds like the perfect name for a restaurant pervert. “Bathroom Bill in here peaking under the stall. Get out of here! And don’t just put on a wig and come back as Bathroom Jill.”
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a sculpture of kneeling Adolf Hitler at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Mexican restaurants still have pictures. A sulpture of a kneeling. Adolf Hitler was sold at auction for more than $17 million. The statute depicts Hitler on his knees begging people to stop comparing him to Donald Trump. Fortunately, it was sold to a Jewish man who is about to have the greatest Snapchat of all time. [Picture changes to a Jewish man and the Adolf Hitler sculpture. The sculpture comes to his waist level and looks sexual.]
I completely agree with your points. Well said!