Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of Kim Kardashian at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Investigators say that the $4.5 million diamond ring stolen from Kim Kardashian will most likely be made into smaller less valuable stones. You know, like Kendall and Kylie.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a toilet bowl and Chinese flag at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A new public bathroom has opened in China that is completely transparent. Oh sure, but when I use a transparent public bathroom, I am vandalizing the apple store.[Picture changes to a clown hair]
In clown news, clowns in Arizona are rallying in support of their profession by organizing a ‘clown lives matter’ rally. Because nothing reassures like an angry mob of clowns. Even worse, the clowns are inviting children to the rally which takes place deep in the woods.
Glad I tried that one.