Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a snake at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Workers in Malaysia discovered a 25 foot long python that is one of the longest snakes captured. Said their boss, “Very cool, but I still need you to find that plane.”
[Cut to Colin Jost. there’s a picture of Burj Khalifa building at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: [laughing] But do you get it? The builders of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world are planning to create an even taller building in Dubai with shimmering metal and long golden cables. It will be known as the Wiz Khalifa.
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a dishwasher at right top corner.]
Michael Che: [laughing] So lazy. An inmate in Texas who escaped was recaptured after he was found hiding in his girlfriend’s dishwasher. Said his girlfriend, “Oh, so now you know where the dishwasher is?”