Weekend Update Jay Pharoah about Secret Rappers’ Meeting

0
(0)

Jay Pharoah

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: Beyonce made an album called ‘Lemonade’, which highlights Jay-Z’s infidelities. It’s rumored that Jay-Z sought out marital device at a secret rappers meeting. Here to talk more about it is our own Jay Farrow.

[Jay Pharoah slides in]

Jay Pharoah: Wad up, Che?

Michael Che: So Jay, there’s a secret rappers meeting?

Jay Pharoah: Oh yeah, yeah. We meet up every three months in P Diddy’s above ground submarine.

Michael Che: Well, tell us what happened.

Jay Pharoah: Alright. Okay. So first Jay Z got right into to tell his side of the story. And he was like, [mimicking Jay-Z] “Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. So definitely, you probably heard me and Beyonce are like beefing, right? Yo, I’m trying to sleep in and blues wine cellar. [laughing] What you want me to do? I’m sorry.” And then 50 cent  started laughing. He was like, [mimicking 50 cent] “Ha-ha-ha-ha, a little something. Hey Jay, maybe you need to apologize just a little bit. Trust me, I’m Google. Women. I’ve got Vivica Fox eat my butt. Ha-ha-ha-ha.”

Michael Che: [laughing] 50 cent did that?

Jay Pharoah: Yeah, man. and then TI says, [mimicking TI] “Ay-ay-ay-ay, now hold on partner.  Your Queen B has got to understand the impediment, hindrance and the obstacles of these pop tech in us circumstance.”

[mimicking DMX] “Yo! I don’t even know what TI said, you know? If it was a brother like me, somebody gotta ask your girl- what you really want from a –”

And Lil’ Wayne was like, [mimicking Lil’ Wayne] “It’s ways F baby, Beyonce is a bitch, and you need to patch it. I have. I have. Yeah. Yeah. Ah!”

Colin Jost: Hey, were there any rappers I like? Like, you know, Will Smith?

Jay Pharoah: Yup! [mimicking Will Smith] Damn! That’s crazy. Insane! [clears throat] Check it out Miami. Wo-hoo!”

Colin Jost: Yup. I got mine. Son of a gun.

Michael Che: You fool. Were there any women there?

Jay Pharoah: Oh yeah, man. Yeah. Nicki Minaj was there. She was like, [mimicking Nicki Minaj] “Oh my God. Like, you know, Meek would never cheat on me. If he does, [yelling] THEN I’LL KILL HIM!”

And then Drake was like, [mimicking Drake] “I mean like, Oh yeah. I mean. Yeah, I need a one dance. I mean like, can we all just get along and just like, relax and all that. You know?”

[Drake slides in]

Drake: Hold on. Wait. First of all, I don’t sound like that. So just relax.

Jay Pharoah: [mimicking Drake] Yeah, bro. You do sound like that.

Drake: No, I don’t sound like that. You can’t even do my voice.

Jay Pharoah: [mimicking Drake] Oh yeah. I can just do your voice.

Drake: You can’t do it.

Jay Pharoah: [mimicking Drake] I’m doing it right now.

Drake: You don’t sound like me.

Jay Pharoah: [mimicking Drake] Oh yeah. Say, “Oh, yeah.”

Drake: Oh, yeah.

[they sound the same] [Michael Che laughing hard]

Michael Che: Jay Pharoah and Drake, ladies and gentlemen. For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.

[The End]

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments