Rachel… Vanessa Bayer
Jennifer Aniston[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Well, 90’s nostalgia is still growing as a TV trend with reboots like Fuller House and Gilmore Girls. Here to comment is Rachel from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.[Rachel slides in]
Rachel: What? Wow! Oh! Yeah! Hi, oh, oh, Colin. Yeah. Hi. Oh.
Colin Jost: Hi, Rachel. How are you?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. I’m, um, um, I’m, you know, I’m, um, um, I’m good.
Colin Jost: Wow. And now, why do you think people are so nostalgic for the 90s?[Cut to Rachel]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. You know, the 90s are great. You know, you go to work, uh, uh, you go on dates and you go to cafes with your friends and you all sit facing camera. Yeah! Hey, hey, you know, Joey had a really, really bad audition and we’re all gonna talk about it tonight at a– at- at the boy apartment. You, um, you should come.
Rachel: Oh, no. Urgh! Oh! I burned these cookies. Mon… is gonna kill me. Oh! Oh! Yeah.
Colin Jost: What just happened? What was that?[Cut to Rachel]
Rachel: Oh, what? Oh, yeah, yeah, I don’t know. I think that just happens when I say a sentence that, uh, uh, that sounds complete. Yeah, uh, like, uh, like, I’ll see you tonight, don’t be late.[Cut to short interval video clip of apartment from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.] [Cut to Colin Jost and Rachel. Rachel is holding a towel and a hairbrush.]
Rachel: Oh! Colin! Oh! You scared me. I was just in the shower. Ah!
Colin Jost: What?
Rachel: What? What? Oh, yeah. Well, uh, what, uh, yeah. Well, uh, yeah, well, what? Oh, you know, well, what? Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. What? Oh, yeah.
Jennifer Aniston: Vanessa, what are you doing?
Vanessa Bayer: What? Oh, what, yeah. Hi.
Jennifer Aniston: Wait, uh, can you just– can you just drop that for a second?
Vanessa Bayer: Um, yeah.
Jennifer Aniston: Vanessa, come on.
Vanessa Bayer: Oh. Sorry, Jen. What re you doing here?
Jennifer Aniston: What? For the last twelve days you’ve been texting me everyday to come and visit you. Listen, honey, I know that you love F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and we had such a great time making our movie together, but you gotta really try to stop texting me everyday.
Vanessa Bayer: Yeah, I know. I just texted coz I thought we could hang, coz I don’t know, I think you’re like, the best.
Jennifer Aniston: Oh, that’s so sweet, honey. You are too, but you now, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was like 5 million and five years ago, so I think we just gotta move on.
Vanessa Bayer: Well, I– I don’t know. I thought, coz I do this great bit as Rachel, so.
Jennifer Aniston: Is it a great bit though? I mean, all it kind of just sounds all you’re doing is like, “What? Oh! What? Me? Oh, wow! No! What?”
Vanessa Bayer: [mimicking Rachel] Wow, is it like this? What? Wow!
Jennifer Aniston: No! Vanessa! No, I don’t do that.
Vanessa Bayer: [mimicking Rachel]Come on! Phoebs! Ross! Oh, Ross!
Jennifer Aniston: Oh! Alright, fine. You wanna go grab some nachos after the show?
Vanessa Bayer: Oh, yeah, that’s right. You love Mexican. That’s my favorite too. Um, I’d love to. See you there!
Colin Jost: Wait! How does that happen, that’s so jarring.[Cut to Jennifer Aniston and Vanessa Bayer]
Jennifer Aniston: I don’t know.
Vanessa Bayer: [mimicking Rachel] What? I don’t know.
Jennifer Aniston: I do not sound like that.
Vanessa Bayer: [mimicking Rachel] Oh, no. What?
Colin Jost: Jennifer Aniston and Rachel, everyone. For Weekend Update, I’m Colin Jost.
Michael Che: I’m Michael Che. Goodnight.