Leslie Jones[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: There’s an inspirational video that’s gone viral called ‘It’s never too late’, which claims you’re never too old to follow your dreams. Here to comment is our own Leslie Joes.[Leslie Jones slides in]
Leslie Jones: Thank you, Colin. Great to be here.
Colin Jost: How are you feeling, Leslie?
Leslie Jones: Oh, Oh, Colin. Oh . Man, I’m 48 and last month I tore my ACL playing a Ninja in a comic sketch. My whole life I wanted to be a Ninja, but my 48 year old knee was like, “Bitch, you is not a Ninja.” The only thing you do good in black pajamas is watched the chill. But the video made me realize that you can achieve your dreams at any age. Did you know that Harrison Ford at 30 was a carpenter? Vera Wang didn’t design her first dress until she was 40? Even Captain Crunch joined the Navy at 50. All I’m saying is that you youngs are just running around here trying to be somebody when you don’t even know who you are yet. You know what happened to Oprah at Leslie Jones3? She got fired. Imagine firing Oprah.
Colin Jost: Yeah. Well that was a mistake.
Leslie Jones: No, it wasn’t because she wasn’t Oprah. She was just some Leslie Jones3 year old punk who needed to get fired, so she could become Oprah. Sometimes you got to fail to succeed. I did.
Colin Jost: Well, okay. What were you doing at Leslie Jones3?
Leslie Jones: Man, I don’t know. The first part of my twenties is like a sexual blur. Then I was fired from some temp jobs, UPS, but I’m glad I got fired. Lorne Michaels created SNL 41 years ago, but maybe if he had got fired like Oprah, he wouldn’t still be working the same damn job. Also, our generation is just much healthier now. You know, we’re the new old. My dad didn’t hydrate. He drank scotch. My dad didn’t exercise. He drank scotch. People will take care of themselves now. You know, we do politely. We got Jamie Lee Curtis keeping us regular. We you yoga.
Colin Jost: You do yoga? Well, namaste. And also, what’s your favorite position?
Leslie Jones: Downward facing Colin. I just wanna know where you’re staying, Jost.
Colin Jost: Leslie Jones, eveyrone.