Weekend Update Von Miller Explains Gravitational Waves


Von Miller

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: On Thursday, scientists announced that the detection of gravitational waves whose existence was first proposed by Albert Einstein in 1916. Now, it’s a pretty complicated idea. So here to explain it to us is Denver Broncos linebacker and Super Bowl MVP, Von Miller.

[Von Miller slides in]

Von Miller: How are you doing, Michael?

Michael Che: I’m okay. Von Miller. Now so, Von, you studied science in college, right?

Von Miller: Yeah. I guess you can say that I did.

Michael Che: Okay. Now, explain this to us. The gravitational waves were discovered when two black holes collided with each other. Is that correct?

[Cut to Von Miller]

Von Miller: That’s right. Let me put it like this. Picture two huge forces slamming together. Like say me and Cam Newton.

[Cut to Von Miller and Michael Che]

Michael Che: You’re just talking about football, man.

Von Miller: No, I’m talking about science. [Cut to Von Miller] Now these forces collide, it makes gravity waves. Like when I collided with Cam Newton and forced him to form.

[Cut to Von Miller and Michael Che]

Michael Che: Alright. Sounds like you’re bragging. Are you sure you’re not bragging about this?

Von Miller: Come on! I told you this is science, man.

Michael Che: Okay.

[Cut to Von Miller]

Von Miller: Now these waves are everywhere in the universe. Just like I’m everywhere when Cam Newton closes and he’s like, [making faces] [Cut to Von Miller and Michael Che]

Michael Che: Von, you already won, man.

Von Miller: Look, this is a huge discovery. [Cut to Von Miller] No one ever thought it would happen. Kind of like no one ever thought that we would keep the number one offence to just eight points. Hey, but it happened. And it’s amazing. Discovery proves that Einstein’s theory ME=MVP.

Michael Che: Well you got that right. Von Miller everyone!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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