WWII Scene

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Sargent… Lin-Manuel Miranda

Donny… Kenan Thompson

Brooklyn… Pete Davidson

Bobby Moynihan

Beck Bennett

[Starts with A Degree of Valor intro]

Announcer: We now return to the World War II classic, A degree of Valor

[Cut to black and white video of a war]

Sargent: Fall back men, the Germans have us surrounded.

Donny: You got it, sarge.

[Everyone falls back but Brooklyn walks right in.]

Sargent: Brooklyn, I said fall back. That’s forward.

Brooklyn: What?

Sargent: Brooklyn!

[Brooklyn gets hit]

Brooklyn: Ah! Sarge, they got me.

Sargent: Hang on son. We’re gonna get you out of here. [calling for help] Medic!

Brooklyn: No Sarge, it’s too late.

Sargent: Don’t talk like that. You’re gonna be fine.

Brooklyn: No. No. Listen, I gotta ask you for a favor.

Sargent: Sure Brooklyn. What is it?

Brooklyn: When I’m gone, I need you to go to my house and find my girl and tell her that I loved her, even though she was a Sox fan.

Sargent: Okay Brooklyn, I promise I’ll tell her the first chance I get.

Brooklyn: And then once you go and tell her that, make some excuse to go up to my garage.

Sargent: The garage?

Brooklyn: Yeah. There’s something there I need you to find. It’s a– It’s a toy for the butt.

Sargent: A what for the butt?

Brooklyn: Just like a fun thing for the butt.

Sargent: Youre not making any sense, son.

[Cut to Donny and Bobby]

Donny: He’s talking about butt-plug, sir.

Bobby: Yeah, like the ones we saw in Paris. Right?

[Beck walks in]

Beck: Yeah.

Bobby: The pointed ones? Yeah.

[Cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: I’d hate for my girlfriend to find it. She just wouldn’t understand.

[Cut to Bobby]

Bobby: Yeah, I get that.

[cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: Yeah, and don’t worry, I never used it though. I was too afraid.

Sargent: Okay, I’ll try son. I’ll try.

Brooklyn: Don’t try. Do it. Find my butt plug. Okay? The box has a picture of a man smiling.

Sargent: Okay, I’ll look for that. Now just try to rest. Let’s not talk about any of that anymore.

Brooklyn: Wait. There’s something else I need you to get rid of. It’s a notebook full of boogie woogie songs that I wrote. They’re just too embarrassing.

[Cut to Bobby]

Bobby: I mean, worse than the butt plug?

[Cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: Well, one goes like this.

[singing] Hey there Jasmine, spread your jazz
spread it thick as tuna tonight

now we’re eating Jazz

Sargent: Okay Brookly, I’ll destroy it for you.

Brooklyn: Unless you think it is good, then try to publish it.

Sargent: I’ll destroy it for you.

[Cut to Donny]

Donny: Yeah, I don’t know. I think people might dance to that.

[Cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: You do? Thanks Donny. I’m gonna miss you the most.

[Cut to Donny]

Donny: Oh, come on! Don’t make me cry now.

[Cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: The butt plug is bigger than you’d expect. Just be ready for that.

Sargent: That’s fine. That’s fine.

Brooklyn: It was an ego thing. I just wanted to challenge myself.

Sargent: Okay. How much more life do you have in you do you think?

Brooklyn: [coughing] Enough to ask you one more favor. Get rid of all the photos of me being sassy.

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: Sassy? What’s that?

[Cut to Sargent and Brooklyn]

Brooklyn: You know, sassy. It’s kind of like, being like– [Brooklyn pouts his lips and snaps his fingers and raises his hand] You know, or being like judging some people’s clothes. Or one like this. [Brooklyn pokes his cheek with his finger and pout his lips.]

Sargent: Okay, Brooklyn. Anything else?

[Brooklyn is not moving anymore] [Cut to everybody. Bobby looks at Brooklyn.]

Bobby: He is dead sir.

Beck: He died as he lived, sassy.

Sargent: Goodbye, Brooklyn. Your soul wasn’t bad.

[singing Brooklyn’s song]Hey there Jasmine, spread your jazz

Everybody: Spread it thick as tuna tonight
now we’re eating Jazz

[Donny stands and dances slowly to the song]

Donny: See I told you you could dance to this.

[Donny gets hit]

Ah! I’m hit!

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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