Tiffany Haddish[Starts with Beck Bennett walking in streets]
Beck Bennett narrating: You know, working at SNL can be tough. It’s a lot of pressure, late nights. It’s stressful. But I guess that’s why it was so special I got hired with my best friend.[Cut to pictures of Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney when they were young.]
Kyle and I met our freshman year in college. We did shows. We made videos. We lived together.[Cut to videos of them in college years]
It’s been an amazing friendship. I just wish it was still like that.
Beck Bennett: hey, bud. Do you want to grab a drink after this?
Kyle Mooney: Oh, I can’t. You know..
Beck Bennett: Yeah, no worries. It’s all good.
Beck Bennett narrating: You know, here at the show, we’ve always stuck together. But things change.[Cut to Beck Bennett going through the script]
Beck Bennett: Oh, Kyle, what if you played the waiter? [Kyle Mooney doesn’t respond. Beck Bennett turns around. Kyle Mooney is making out with Leslie Jones.]
Leslie Jones: No, he should play the sheriff because he run this town.
Kyle Mooney: Yeah, B, is it cool if I’m a Sheriff?
Beck Bennett: Sure. I’ll just restructure the whole thing.
Kyle Mooney narrating: Of course, Back and I are still close. It’s just Leslie and I have such a deep connection. I mean, we’ve raised a child together.[Cut to Kyle Mooney and Leslie dropping off their child to college]
Kyle Mooney: Alright but, it looks like you’re all set for college.[Their child is an adult wearing a wig.]
Child: I love you mom and dad.
Leslie Jones: Oh, we love you too, baby.
Kyle Mooney: Good luck, out there. We did good, baby.
Leslie Jones: Yes, we did.
Kyle Mooney: I love you.
Beck Bennett narrating: I want Kyle to be in a happy relationship. It’s just, I miss him.[Cut to Kyle Mooney and Leslie being playful during work.]
Kyle Mooney: Stop, baby, what are you dong?[Beck Bennett is looking at them from far. Colin Jost comes to Beck Bennett.]
Colin Jost: You know, it doesn’t have to be like this, right?
Beck Bennett: What do you mean?
Colin Jost: Ice rink. Midnight. Be there.[Colin Jost walks out] [Cut to Beck Bennett and Colin Jost meeting at ice rink]
Beck Bennett: WTF, Jost?
Colin Jost: It’s simple. You want your friend back. I want my girl.
Beck Bennett: What are you suggesting?
Colin Jost: The masquerade ball is tomorrow night. It’s the perfect opportunity for us to both get what we desire.
Beck Bennett: I’m listening.[Colin Jost starts whispering in Beck Bennett’s ear.]
Beck Bennett narrating: I’m just sorry it had to come to this.[Cut to Kyle Mooney. He sees a note with his name on it. He reads it.] [Cut to Leslie Jones. She sees a note with her name on it. She reads it.]
Kyle Mooney: Dearest Kyle…
Kyle Mooney and Leslie Jones: … you have made my life so grand. I’ll be waiting for you…
Kyle Mooney: …with a white rose…
Leslie Jones: …with a red rose in my hand.
Kyle Mooney and Leslie Jones: Meet me at the ball. Love, your best friend.
Leslie Jones: Aw, Kyle.
Kyle Mooney: Aw, Leslie.
Kyle Mooney narrating: This is so something Leslie would do. Tomorrow’s going to be unforgettable.[Cut to masquerade ball]
Lorne Michael: The masquerade ball is always my favorite time of year. The cast gets to let loose and there is always a random hook up.
Aidy Bryant: Let’s get weird.[Cut to Leslie Jones looking around for Kyle Mooney] [Cut to Colin Jost waving at Leslie Jones. Colin Jost is wearing a wig and a mask, and has a red rose to make himself look like Kyle Mooney.]
Leslie Jones: Kyle![Cut to Kyle Mooney looking around for Leslie Jones. There is Beck Bennett dressed as a woman holding a white rose an wearing a mask.]
Kyle Mooney: White rose. Leslie. [Kyle Mooney walks near Beck Bennett dressed as Leslie Jones] Leslie, you look beautiful.[Cut to Leslie Jones dancing with Colin Jost dressed as Kyle Mooney]
Leslie Jones: YOu’re getting so strong. I like it.
Colin Jost: Hmm, well, I’m Kyle.[Cut to Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett dressed as Leslie Jones]
Kyle Mooney: Leslie, I want to see your face.[Cut to Leslie Jones dancing with Colin Jost dressed as Kyle Mooney]
Leslie Jones: You know what? Take off that mask. I wanna kiss my man.[Cut to Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett dressed as Leslie Jones. Beck Bennett opens the mask.]
Kyle Mooney: Beck?
Beck Bennett: It was the only way to get through to you. I miss you man.
Kyle Mooney: Wait a sec.[Kyle Mooney looks around.] [Cut to Leslie Jones and Colin Jost dressed as Kyle Mooney. Colin Jost wakes the mask off.]
Leslie Jones: Colin?
Colin Jost: Do I still get that kiss?
Kyle Mooney: You asshole![Kyle Mooney runs and beats Colin Jost up.]
Beck Bennett: Kyle, stop! Give your knuckles a rest.[Beck Bennett starts hitting Colin Jost. Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney look at each other, smile, and start hitting Colin Jost again.] [Tiffany Haddish walks in]
Tiffany: Everybody, hold up. [to Beck Bennett] You have to put your shoulder into it. [opens her wig and gives it to Beck Bennett] Hold my hair. [Tiffany starts hitting Colin Jost] [Lorne Michael walks in]
Lorne Michael: Tiffany, no! You’ve got a big show tomorrow night. Let me help.[Lorne Michael starts hitting Colin Jost] [Cut to Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney and Leslie Jones sitting on a couch]
Beck Bennett: I guess we got a little carried away.
Kyle Mooney: But we talked it out and everything’s cool.
Leslie Jones: And… [Leslie Jones pulls Colin Jost. His falls is all bruised.] Colin decided not to press charges. Ain’t that right, Colin?
Colin Jost: Yes.