Jimmy Fallon
Mikey Day
Alex Moffatt
Beck Bennett
Greg… Harry Styles
Captain… Bobby Moynihan
[Starts with a Union Army Camp in 1863.]Jimmy : I heard we’re marching south tomorrow.
Mikey: Feels like this war’s never going to end. I swear, sometimes, I forget what we are even fighting for.
Alex: Yeah. We’ve been fighting this war so long, I wonder if my family will even recognize me.
Beck: Oh, I’m tired of hearing all this grumbling. How about a song? Something to lift our spirits. A real foot stomper.
Alex: How about ‘Old New York?’
Beck: Ah! Old New York. Now that’s the tune that will put the fight back in you. What do you say, boys?
All: Alright!
Alex: Great song.
[music palying]Beck: [singing] Well, I’m from New York, I am from up north in yankee land
then one day the union army came a calling
they said son grab up your gun, there is glory to be won
and soon the dixie boys will be a falling
All: One, two, three, it’s the union calls for me
that we fear the grape shot nor the canon roar
oh, liberty and I happily
and bury me back home in Old New York
Jimmy : [standing] And we’re singing like,
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, party till the sun come up
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, we’ll stay up for ever now
[Everone else is staring Jimmy looking confused]Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, dance until the pills wear off
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,, it’s a party at my parent’s house
Beck: Um, I don’t remember that part of Old New York.
Jimmy : Oh, no. Sorry, I added it. I felt like it needed like a fat catchy hook people can sing along. It’s good, right?
Mikey: Yeah. I mean, it’s already stuck in my head.
Greg: You know what would sound good? If you all did a bridge after that hook.
Beck: Hey, Greg, shut up.
Greg: Okay.
Beck: Listen. Old New York is a soldier’s song. It’s about courage and making your loved ones proud. So maybe best not to change it.
Jimmy : Oh, of course. Just musically, it felt like it wanted that hook. Keep going.
Beck: [singing] Now I miss my family and I miss New York City,
but to run away from war is a disgrace
if the rebel shoot me down
Jimmy : [singing in the background] party at my parent’s house
Beck: Tell my family I was found
Jimmy : [singing in the background] party at my parent’s house
Beck: On the ground with a smile on the face.
Jimmy : Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa [build up]
All: Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, skinny dipping in the pool
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, all our friends are making out
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,…
Beck: I don’t know what to say.
All: Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, it’s a party at my parent’s house.
[Greg walks in]Greg: Oh my god! there she is, the girl I like
suddenly, it’s all clear
this is the best night of my life
everybody sing it right.
All: Oh, oh, oh–
[Captain walks in]Captain: What the hell is going on here?
Beck: Oh, I’m very sorry, sir. I thought some singing might boost morale in camp.
Captain: Oh, no. I’m sorry. I was pretending like I was the dad in the song. Like, coming home and seeing the party at my house and be like, “What’s going on?” Being like, angry.
Jimmy : Let’ go. That would be a fun break in the song.
Mikey: Yeah. Maybe it’s like a switcheroo and the dad’s actually into it?
[Beck looks disppointed]Jimmy : Yeah, yeah. Or we can just do the regular version of Old New York.
Beck: Oh, who am I kidding? That hook is fire. The whole track is absolutely lit. Let’s take it from the dad coming in.
Captain: [clearing throat] Nobody parties at my house! Without me!
Beck: Two, three, four.
All: Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, everybody get excited
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh,
Greg: Everybody know themselves!
All: Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, everybody get excited
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh…
Jimmy : It’s a party at my parent’s house.
[explosion]Oh, man! That canon sounded amazing. Hey, props to whoever shot that cannon. That was a fun punch at the end.
Beck: That wasn’t one of our’s.
Jimmy : Then who shot it?
[explosion and smoke effect]Male voice: And when the smoke cleared, all that was left of the third New York infantry was their bravery, their sacrifice and our nation’s first big fat hook.
