Gal Gadot Monologue


Gal Gadot

Leslie Jones

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Gal Gadot.

[Gal Gadot walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Gal Gadot: Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow! I’m so happy to be here. Thank you. I’m so happy to be here. Okay, yes, I know I have an accent. Obviously I’m not from here. That’s right. I’m from Albuquerque. No, just kidding. I grew up in Israel. And this is so exciting for me because tonight’s show is being broadcast live in Israel for the very first time ever.

[cheers and applause]

Hi, ma. Hi, Abba. And I actually have a quick message for the rest of my friends and family back home. So, excuse me. [speaking foreign language]

Subtitle reading: Hi everybody. I just want to let you know that this might be a big mistake. The writers here clearly know nothing about Israel. In every sketch they have me eating hummus. I mean, I like hummus, but come on. They’re nice, but they’re not very sophisticated. I think they believe that I’m actually Wonder Woman. So good luck to me. I’m hoping for the best.

Gal Gadot: Now, most of you know me as Wonder Woman. And I loved doing the movie because it inspired so many young girls to be their own heroes.

[Leslie Jones walks in wearing Wonder Woman costume] [cheers and applause]

Leslie Jones: Tell me about it. Yeah. We really do inspire people, don’t we?

Gal Gadot: [laughing] I’m sorry, who are you?

Leslie Jones: I’m the Time Square’s Wonder Woman. You know how you take picture with young girls who look up to you? I do the same with German tourists.

Gal Gadot: Oh, wait. Like, the Time Square Elmo?

Leslie Jones: Um, yeah. But Elmo’s a freak. Any time you see one of his costume arms hanging down limp, he’s up to something.

Gal Gadot: Got it. Got it.

Leslie Jones: Okay, I just wanted to tell you that I’m a big fan and I love how you portrayed our character in the ‘Wonder Woman’ movie. I just saw it on DVD.

Gal Gadot: Oh! So you didn’t get to go to the theater to see the movie?

Leslie Jones: Well, the DVD I bought was shot in the theater. But the important thing is we are an inspiration to women everywhere.

Gal Gadot: That’s right. Women can be any kind of Wonder Woman they want to be.

Leslie Jones: Damn right.

Gal Gadot: My Wonder Woman has bracelets to stop bullets.

Leslie Jones: Um. And I’ve got bracelet that tells the paramedics what blood type is.

Gal Gadot: I have an invisible jet.

Leslie Jones: Oh. And I got a fake handicap sticker that makes my car invisible to meter maids.

Gal Gadot: Um, I have a lasso that makes people tell you the truth.

Leslie Jones: And bitch, I got vodka. Let’s take a selfie. You know, us Wonder Women got to stick together. Yeah. Can I get $5?

Gal Gadot: What?

Leslie Jones: Ha-ha. You give it to me later. I just love you.

Gal Gadot: Oh, we got a great show for you tonight. Sam Smith is here. So stick around and we’ll be right back.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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