Leslie Jones[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Gal Gadot.[Gal Gadot walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]
Gal Gadot: Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow! I’m so happy to be here. Thank you. I’m so happy to be here. Okay, yes, I know I have an accent. Obviously I’m not from here. That’s right. I’m from Albuquerque. No, just kidding. I grew up in Israel. And this is so exciting for me because tonight’s show is being broadcast live in Israel for the very first time ever.[cheers and applause]
Hi, ma. Hi, Abba. And I actually have a quick message for the rest of my friends and family back home. So, excuse me. [speaking foreign language]
Subtitle reading: Hi everybody. I just want to let you know that this might be a big mistake. The writers here clearly know nothing about Israel. In every sketch they have me eating hummus. I mean, I like hummus, but come on. They’re nice, but they’re not very sophisticated. I think they believe that I’m actually Wonder Woman. So good luck to me. I’m hoping for the best.
Gal Gadot: Now, most of you know me as Wonder Woman. And I loved doing the movie because it inspired so many young girls to be their own heroes.[Leslie Jones walks in wearing Wonder Woman costume] [cheers and applause]
Leslie Jones: Tell me about it. Yeah. We really do inspire people, don’t we?
Gal Gadot: [laughing] I’m sorry, who are you?
Leslie Jones: I’m the Time Square’s Wonder Woman. You know how you take picture with young girls who look up to you? I do the same with German tourists.
Gal Gadot: Oh, wait. Like, the Time Square Elmo?
Leslie Jones: Um, yeah. But Elmo’s a freak. Any time you see one of his costume arms hanging down limp, he’s up to something.
Gal Gadot: Got it. Got it.
Leslie Jones: Okay, I just wanted to tell you that I’m a big fan and I love how you portrayed our character in the ‘Wonder Woman’ movie. I just saw it on DVD.
Gal Gadot: Oh! So you didn’t get to go to the theater to see the movie?
Leslie Jones: Well, the DVD I bought was shot in the theater. But the important thing is we are an inspiration to women everywhere.
Gal Gadot: That’s right. Women can be any kind of Wonder Woman they want to be.
Leslie Jones: Damn right.
Gal Gadot: My Wonder Woman has bracelets to stop bullets.
Leslie Jones: Um. And I’ve got bracelet that tells the paramedics what blood type is.
Gal Gadot: I have an invisible jet.
Leslie Jones: Oh. And I got a fake handicap sticker that makes my car invisible to meter maids.
Gal Gadot: Um, I have a lasso that makes people tell you the truth.
Leslie Jones: And bitch, I got vodka. Let’s take a selfie. You know, us Wonder Women got to stick together. Yeah. Can I get $5?
Gal Gadot: What?
Leslie Jones: Ha-ha. You give it to me later. I just love you.
Gal Gadot: Oh, we got a great show for you tonight. Sam Smith is here. So stick around and we’ll be right back.