Holiday Jewelry


Mikey Day

Kate McKinnon

Cecily strong

Beck Bennett

Kyle Mooney

Aidy Bryant

[Starts with women decorating the Christmas tree in their house.]

Male voice: She’s the one who makes the holidays merry and bright. The perfect gift. The perfect wrapping. The perfect everything. So, what do you get the woman who makes Christmas for Christmas? [Greg takes Kate to show her the gift] The gift every woman desires. [He shows her a ring box] A beautiful charm from Pandora. [There’s a little coffee cup in the ring box. Kate is confused.]

Kate: Oh, it’s one of these? It’s a little coffee cup.

Greg: I knew you would.

Kate: What?

Greg: I’m sorry. Did you say you love it?

Kate: [in unimpressive way] I do. I love it.

Male voice: And Pandora charms. We take one little fact about your wife and turn it into jewelry. If it’s now, it’s a charm.

[Cut to Alex opening the ring box to Cecily. Cecily is happy first, but then is confused after seeing what’s in the ring box.]

Cecily: Oh, is it a little dress?

Beck: Yeah. I noticed you wear dresses.

Cecily: It has pink ribbon on it. It’s for breast cancer?

Beck: [looks at it carefully] Oh, yeah.

Male voice: Pandora charm sees the thing you want to tell her the most. Like, I know what job you have and that job is nurse. Or, you like drinking. Or, this is a dog. And once you bought a Pandora bracelet, you can get her one of these $60 whatever for every birthday, mother’s day and anniversary for the rest of her natural life.

[Cut to a party]

Kate: [to her friends] It’s a coffee cup. Greg got it for me. Greg, look what I’m wearing. [Greg and Kate raise their glasses to each other] [to her friends] I got Greg a motorcycle.

Cecily: I got us a threesome.

Kate: Wow.

Aidy: Wow.

Cecily: Yeah.

Male voice: Pandora. Come back to the mall.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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