Jake Tapper… Beck Bennett
Kellyanne Conway… Kate McKinnon
[Starts with The Lead with Jake Tapper intro]
[Cut to Jake Tapper in his news set]
Jake Tapper: Welcome back to The Lead. We’re speaking with Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s campaign manager turned white house counselor.
Kellyanne Conway: Thank you, Jake.
Jake Tapper: President Trump said his first foreign trip may be to meet with Vladimir Putin. Isn’t that troubling?
Kellyanne Conway: Actually, no, it’s not. And the thing to remember about Russia is that we won and I don’t know why you keep bringing up the election.
Jake Tapper: I’m not. I’m talking about Russia. Doesn’t Trump’s relationship with Putin concern you?
Kellyanne Conway: Okay. Actually what does concern me is that she didn’t go to Michigan and she lost and we won and we did win.
Jake Tapper: Oh my god, why do you do this?
Kellyanne Conway: Do what, Jake?
Jake Tapper: Com on here every single day and do this. What do you get out of this?
Kellyanne Conway: I love Trump. And I believe in Trump. And the reason I joined his campaign is because I thought he was going to be the president for all people.
Jake Tapper: Really? That’s really what you thought?
Kellyanne Conway: Mm, yes, that’s what I thought.
Jake Tapper: And that’s all you thought?
Kellyanne Conway: Well– [music starts playing] I guess if I’m being completely honest, Jake, I just also think–
[Kellyanne Conway starts dancing and singing]
[singing] The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be, “Conway”
the lady raking in the chips is gonna be Conway
I’m gonna be a celebrity
that means somebody everyone knows
they’re gonna recognize my eyes,
my hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose
Ooh, I’m gonna join sag
From just some dumb Blueberry farm I’m gonna be Conway
who says the lying’s not an art?
And when they google just okay
my name will come up before Kanye
Kellyanne Conway
[Cut back to the news set]
Jake Tapper: Now, Kellyanne, starting yesterday, you are now counselor to the president.
Kellyanne Conway: Mm-hmm. Yes, I am. I am that.
Jake Tapper: You have the president’s ear and a real opportunity to effect change in the White House.
[Kellyanne Conway looks surprised]
Kellyanne Conway: Oh my god, Jake, you’re right. Do you know what this means?
[singing] boys!
Boys: They’re gonna wait outside in line to get to see Conway
Kellyanne Conway: Think of those autographs I’ll sign, good luck to you
Boys: Conway!
Kellyanne Conway: An I’ll appear in a sleeveless dress on any show they’ll let me do
Boys: Meet the press, Anderson, Hannity, Fox & Friends
Kellyanne Conway: And if they I’ll do ‘The Chew’
Ooh, I’m a star
and the audience loves me and I love them
and they love me for loving them
and I love them for loving me
and we love each other
Hey, know what’s weird?
This time last year, I supported Ted Cruz
I said Donald Trump acted unpresidential
It’s on tape.
But hey, that’s show biz, Kel
Boys: She’s giving up her humdrum life
Kellyanne Conway: I’m gonna be Conway
Boys: She treats the news just like a play
Kellyanne Conway: And when the world goes up in flames
at least for now they knew my name
Kellyanne Conway