Melania Trump… Cecily Storng
Lorne Michaels[Starts with Leslie Jones walking in the streets]
Leslie narrating: For a long time, I never thought that this could be possibility.[Cut to shooting for Alec Baldwin playing Donald Trump]
Alec Baldwin: It’s a disaster. You look at Chicago. The bailiff knows what i”m talking about. You know..[Cut to 1 and Bobby Moynihan talking off screen]
Leslie: Man! Alec is so good.
Bobby: The best, man! He has got so much material for the next four years.
Leslie: Do you really think he’s going to do this for next four years? Doesn’t he have other stuff to do?
Bobby: I’m not sure. But, I mean, who’s gonna replace him?[Cut to screen “Leslie wants to play Trump”] [Cut to Leslie Jones narrating]
Leslie narrating: I never dreamed that I could play the president. But then Melissa played Spicer and I was like, “Yo! Why can’t I play Trump?” I knew I had to make this happen. [Leslie Jones is trying to learn how Donald Trump speaks and moves] So I studied everything him.
Leslie: Huge! Huge! Drain the swamp of tremendous Muslims.
Leslie narrating: It even started to affect my relationship.[Cut to Leslie Jones sitting on Kyle Mooney’s laps. She is lookin at the laptop with headphones on.]
Kyle: Can we just have sex?
Leslie: Come on, Kyle! I have to practice this.
Kyle: Baby, I’m sorry, okay? It’s just, you don’t even look like Donald Trump. You’re too beautiful.
Leslie: Whatever. We already had sex like twice today. Get off me. Jeez.
Leslie narrating: But I just had to commit.[Cut to the dressing room]
Melissa: Is this like a send up on his fragile masculinity?
Sasheer: Is it like a Hamilton thing where you’re making a comment on race and politics?
Leslie: Nope, it’s about giving America what it wants.
Leslie narrating: Some people couldn’t see it.
Vanessa: A woman playing Trump? It’s an interesting idea, Leslie, but trust me, it will never fly.
Leslie narrating: Finally, it was the moment of truth.
Female voice: Leslie, you can go in now.
Leslie: Um, okay. [acting like Donald Trump] Lorne, baby. I have a huge idea, bigly.[Cut to Lorne Michaels]
Lorne: It’s not going to happen, Leslie.
Leslie: [disappointed] Alright. I mean, I understand. I understand. [looking at the cameraman] Fellas, hey, can I have a minute, please? [cameras off] [yelling] Don’t say no to me, Lorne! I’ll f* destroy this whole place! I’m so tired of this f* popcorn. Why the f* roses in here? People keep casting me as somebody who always yells. I’m trying to show you I got range. [Leslie is getting violent towards Lorne Michaels] I’m trying to show you something different.[Cut to Leslie jones being pulled away by the security]
Leslie: I’m going. I’m going. [Vanessa Bayer is walking pass dressed like Donald Trump] Hey, Vanessa! What are you doing?
Vanessa: [acting like Donald Trump] I’m looking out for number one, baby!
Leslie: Man, that bitch is supposed to be my friend, man! Am I fired?[Cut to Leslie walking out of the building, still dressed as Donald Trump] [A limousine pulls over]
Melania Trump: Donald? Donald? Is that you?
Leslie: Melania? I mean, [acting like Donald Trump] yes, darling, it’s me.
Melania Trump: What are you doing out here in cold? Get in.[Melania opens the door to limousine] [Leslie Jones gets in the car and the car drives away]