Pizza Town

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Carozzi… Kyle Mooney

Beck Bennett

Kenan Thompson

Peppi Ronnie… Aziz Ansari

Jeff… Bobby Moynihan

Steve… Mikey Day

Marynara… Aidy Bryant

[Starts with Carozzi hiding in an abandoned Pizza Town]

Carozzi: [talking on the phone] Cops are all over the stash house. So, I’m laying low at the abandoned Pizza Town off route. Look, if you find that snitch, you kill him.

[Two cops walk in pointing a gun at Carozzi]

Beck: Freeze, Carozzi. [to his partner] See if you can find the fuse box and get some light on it.

[Kenan runs to turn lights on]

Carozzi: How did you find me?

Beck: One of you boys ratted you out. Your whole operation’s going down.

Carozzi: Who ratted? Was it Marco?

Beck: Let me worry about that.

Kenan: Found the fuse box.

[the lights turn oh. There’s a robot band on the stage of the restaurant.] [music playing]

Peppi Ronnie: I’m Peppi Ronnie. [singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like pizza pie
I want a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza pie

Let’s all eat pizza, pizza
let’s all eat pizza pie
I am a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza guy

Beck: Why’d you turn this thing one?

Kenan: I don’t know. It’s just one switch.

Beck: Don’t do anything stupid, Carozzi.

Peppi Ronnie: Say hi to my pizza pals.

[Jeff is playing drums wearing chef uniform]

Jeff: I’m Chef Jeff, and I make-a the pizzas.

[Steve is playing guitar that looks like a pizza]

Steve: I’m Cheesy Steve and I shred the guitar-mesan.

[guitar solo playing] [Marynara is playing tamborine]

Marynara: And I’m Sauce-some Marynara on the Tamborine.

Peppi Ronnie: We are Peppi-Ronnie and the Pizza Pals, and we’ll be right pizza!

[music stops and the stage lights turn off] [Carozzi is tryin to pull something out of his jacket]

Beck: Hey! Hey! That’s a bad idea.

Kenan: Yeah, I know, right? They should have Marynara on the keyboards instead of tambourine. Ha-ha. There’s so much synth in that song.

Beck: I’m not talking about the pizza band.

[siren sound]

Sounds like our backup’s here.

Peppi Ronnie: That sound was the birthday siren! [music playing] It’s someone’s birthday!

[singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like the birthday pie
go happy pizza birthday
birthday girl, birthday guy

Congratulations to–

Recorded voice: Samora.

Peppi Ronnie: Who turnes–

Recorded voice: Nine.

Peppi Ronnie: And is is celebrating with–

Recorded voice: Mom and Gary.

Peppi Ronnie: Cowabunga!

Recorded voice: Lope.

Peppi Ronnie: Here’s a joke just for you. Did you hear about the pizza with no toppings? There was mushroom (much room) for improvement!

Steve: That’s cheesy!

[music stops and the stage lights turn off]

Kenan: You get it? Ha-ha. Mushroom for improvement. Yeah, that’s clever.

Carozzi: Hey, i’m not going back to jail.

Beck: Shut up. I don’t want to shoot you, Carozzi. Now I’m coming over and taking you in.
[music playing and the stage lights turn on]

Peppi Ronnie: [singing] Don’t you want some pizza
don’t you want some pizza

[music stops]

Oh! Who ordered anchovies?

[fog horn]

PIzza!

[music stops and the stage lights turn off]

Kenan: That’s good. Nobody likes anchovies.

Beck: Stop watching the pizza band.

[Beck walks towards Carozzi to handcuff him]

Carozzi: I want a lawyer, okay?

Beck: Well, it’s not gonna help you, Corozzi. Come on, let’s take him in.

Kenan: Yeah, you go ahead. I’m gonna stay behind and wait for forensics.

[The stage lights turn on]

Peppi Ronnie: Hey, who here likes to dance?

[Kenan looks around]

Kenan: I do.

Peppi Ronnie: Then let’s crust a move!

[music playing] [Kenan starts dancing] [singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like pizza pie
I want a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza pie

 

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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