Big Chris… Kenan Thompson
Shantasia… Sasheer amata
Young Bitch… Pete Davidson
Prinsexxxy… Leslie Jones
Sno’Cone… Mikey Day
Sloppy Moses… Kyle Mooney
Marci Jamz… Melissa Villaseñor
King Keef… Dwayne Johnson
Lil’ Nitwit… Alex Moffat
2 Black Guyz… Colin Jost, Michael Che
Hawt Clown… Cecily Strong
Pregnasty… Kate McKinnon
Skiffle… Bobby Moynihan
Katy Perry
Kathleen Bell… Aidy Bryant
Essentially Simon… Beck Bennett
David S. Pimkskins… Tom Hanks
Dat Snatch*… Vanessa Bayer
[Music video starts with Big Chris in the intro]
[music playing]
Big Chris: Uh! This that new track. New money crew. Cash Stack Records. Represent, Big Chris.
Shantasia: With Shantasia. Ha-ha.
Young Bitch: Featuring your boy, Young Bitch!
Big Chris: Here we go, uh! Yo…
Prinsexxxy: Prinsexxxy on the track.
[Big Chris is looking around getting confused]
Holding it down.
Sno’Cone: With Sno’Cone.
Big Chris: Yeah, they up on this track too. Y’all never heard this many MCs. Here we go. Yo…
Sloppy Moses: Sloppy Moses also part of this.
[Big Chris is annoyed]
Bring it down, West Coast!
Big Chris: Um, him too. And that’s more than enough now. Yeah, Big Chris.
Shantasia: Shantasia.
Young Bitch: Young Bitch.
Prinsexxxy: With Prinsexxxy.
Big Chris: Whole lot of people.
Sno’Cone: Sno’Cone!
Marci Jamz: Marci Jamz.
Sloppy Moses: It’s Sloppy Moses.
Big Chris: And then we cut it off there. Uh! Yeah. I mean, we more than covered on this particular track. And yo! Don’t think I ain’t notice you trying to fly under the radar Marci Jamz!
Sno’Cone: New Money Crew roll deep.
Big Chris: I mean, maybe too deep? I don’t know!
King Keef: Featuring King Keef.
Big Chris: No! This track is full, man! There ain’t no vacancy, B!
King Keef: King Keef does not accept that. Brought the whole Hoodlum squad to this track!
Sno’Cone: Hoodlums!
King Keef: Where you at, Lil’ Nitwit?
Lil’ Nitwit: Keep it greasy, y’all!
Big Chris: What happened there?
2 Black Guyz: With 2 Black Guyz.
Big Chris: Bad name!
Hawt Clown: Hey, Hawt Clown!
Big Chris: Ah, [bleep]
Hawt Clown: You know what it is.
Pregnasty: Gucci girl, Pregnasty!
Big Chris: No!
Skiffle: And y’all, don’t forget about your boy Skiffle! Bow-yaka-yaka.
Sloppy Moses: Ah!
King Keef: Oh! Skiffle!
Big Chris: Yo! Definitely ain’t no room for Skiffle.
King Keef: Yo, Skiffle, sing!
Katy Perry: And you know, Katy Perry on the track!
Kathleen Bell: With Kathleen Bell.
Big Chris: Aite, maybe not Kathleen Bell.
Kathleen Bell: [singing] Here we go, new music.
Essentially Simon: Essentially Simon, modern day witch. Bringing those new musings like nothing’s more dangerous than a genius with money.
Big Chris: Whatever! Anybody else?
David S. Pimpkins: David S. Pimkskins! [cheers and applause]
Big Chris: No!
King Keef: Yes!
Big Chris: Alright, everybody could say, you know, let’s just keep it orderly. Find a place to pop in, alright? Here we go. Big Chris on the mic like–
[All the rappers are rapping simultaneously. It’s noisy and doesn’t make sense.]
Stop! Stop! that did not work! It’s like I feel there’s too many people on this track. I’m sorry, y’all.
Dat Snatch*: Dat Snatch* out! Peace!
Big Chris: Yo! Who dis?
David S. Pimpkins: Any questions?
[The End]
Awesome! I love this sketch! I want to hear a whole track from Pregnasty! One of my favorite lines was left out though – from Sloppy Moses “…bringing that West Coast STANK!!”
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