Scarlett Johansson
Kate McKinnon
Kenan Thompson
[Starts with SNL monologue intro]
[Cut to SNL stage]
[Band is playing music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Scarlett Johansson.
[Scarlett Johansson walks in and to the stage]
[cheers and applause]
Scarlett Johansson: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am so happy to be back here at SNL. You know, the last time I hosted was in twentyfifteen when the most upsetting thing in the news was that ‘Mad Men’ was ending. But now, this is my 5th time hosting SNL. [cheers and applause] And Kenan was nice enough to make a highlight real with the best moments from my first four shows. So, let’s take a look.
[Cut to short video clips from past Scarlett Johansson features in SNL. But the clips have the dialogs only from Kenan Thompson and very less appearance from Scarlett Johansson.]
[Cut to Scarlett Johansson]
Okay. That was more about Kenan than me. But, um, anyways, this is a huge milestone in my life. SNL feels like a home to me now. Which–
[Kate McKinnon walks in]
Kate McKinnon: Scar-jo. Hey, what’s up? [Kate McKinnon kisses Scarlett Johansson on cheeks few times]
Scarlett Johansson: Oh, K-Mc. I haven’t seen you in a while.
Kate McKinnon: I know. Well, I was actually at the Oscars with you, remember?
Scarlett Johansson: I didn’t see you there. I’m sorry.
Kate McKinnon: Oh, well, it was my first time there. And apparently there are tiers and you’re in a tier that I think is higher because I tried to get your attention at one point and I was tased.
Scarlett Johansson: Oh, what? Did you go to any of the Afterparties?
Kate McKinnon: Yeah. I sure did. I sure did. Which one did you go to?
Scarlett Johansson: I went to Vanity Fair.
Kate McKinnon: Oh, cool, cool. That sounds fun. Yeah, I went to the Purina Dog Chow meet and greet. It was cool. It was an extremely cash bar. But– But I got to rub shoulders with the likes of Harvey Levin from TMZ and the house slipper guy who held a gun to his wife’s head.
Scarlett Johansson: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You know, Kate and I just did a movie together called ‘The Rough Night’. [cheers and applause] The trailer debuted last week. So, let’s just take a look at it.
[Cut to a video clip of Kenan Thompson’s Fat Albert movie.]
Kenan: Hey, hey, hey! It’s Fat Albert.
[Cut to Scarlett Johansson and Kate McKinnon]
Scarlett Johansson: Okay, we have to stop letting Kenan handle the clips. You know, he has been here the longest and he never lets us forget it.
[Kenan Thompson walks in]
Kenan Thompson: Yeah, that’s right, Catherine. [Kenan Thompson gives Kate McKinnon a huge bag] Um, light on the starch. Let’s see if you can get it right this time. [Kate McKinnon walks out with the bag] And Scarlett, how did the clip package go over?
Scarlett Johansson: They were just clips of you.
Kenan Thompson: Oh, so it went well. Good. Good to hear. And in honor of your 5th time hosting, we have a very special 5-timer’s jacket just for you.
[Kate McKinnon walks in and puts the 5-timer’s jacket on Scarlett Johansson]
Scarlett Johansson: Ooh! Thank you. Thank you, guys. It means a lot to me.
Kenan Thompson: You are very welcome. And you’re always welcome here any time. Now let us sing the sacred and solemn 5-timer’s song that has been sung since the show began.
[music playing]
Kate McKinnon and Kenan Thompson: [singing] Five
five times
five times hosting
All: Five
five times
five times hosting
Scarlett Johansson: Wait, wait, is this the song from the Subway commercial?
Kenan Thompson: I am not realizing that it is.
Scarlett Johansson: We have a great show. Lorde is here. So stick around and we’ll be right back.
