Scorpio

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Steve… Dwayne Johnson

Linda… Cecily Strong

Sue… Sasheer Zamata

Aidy Bryant

[Starts with comic pages turning]

Male voice: I was just an ordinary guy… until the extraordinary happened. [scorpions are biting this guy. After that, he has become strong and now is fighting as a hero.] And extraordinary is just what this city needed.

[Cut to Linda speaking on phone in her office]

Linda: Maximilian is no joke. He is destroying the entire north side of the city. I can’t even get reporters on the field. It’s too dangerous.

Steve: Linda! [Linda gets scared as she thought she was alone. Steve is in his super hero costume.] Don’t be afraid.

Linda: Steve?

Steve: It’s me. I am, well, different.

Linda: What? What happened?

Steve: It’s hard to explain. But now I possess the super abilities of a scorpion, enhanced strength, deadly grip and venomous sting. With my powers and this armor that I created, I vow to become the vigilante this city needs. I came here to say goodbye just in case I don’t come back.

Linda: That’s incredible, but hold on. You made that?

Steve: What? The suit?

Linda: Yeah! You sewed that?

Steve: Yes. Yes, I did. Now this city won’t need to–

Linda: It’s gorgeous.

Steve: You think so?

Linda: I do. You made it with your own hands?

Steve: Yes, I did.

Linda: When?

Steve: Oh, just last night.

Linda: In just one night?

Steve: [laughing] Yes. It’s really easy once you settle on the… what’s it? Oh, silhoutte.

Linda: Steve!

Steve: It’s Scorpio now.

Linda: Scorpio, this is insane. Like, your super powers include impeccable tailoring?

Steve: Well, I- I had that from before.

Linda: From before? Oh, my god! I just noticed the little zipper on the side.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah.

[Sue and Aidy walk in]

Sue: I heard Maximilian attacked a hospital.

Aidy: Oh my god! What is this outfit?

Linda: He made it.

Steve: I made it. I made it.

Sue: Shut up. No, you didn’t.

Aidy: Okay, the zipper is–

Steve: I know, I know. It’s a little wonky. I just rushe because the hospital was going to explode.

Linda: Girls. Look, the little scorpion on the buckle matches the detailing on the shoulder.

Steve: Oh, but let me ask you. You don’t think it’s too much, do you? Because I was worried that the buckles might be a little too much.

Linda: No, no. Like, if I saw it laid out on a table, I’d be like, “Yeah, that’s too much.” Seeing it on you, I’m like, “No, it’s perfect.”

Aidy: Yeah. I love that the fabrics are a mix of high and low. Honestly, for me it’s a full yes.

Steve: Oh, great. Well, you know, I didn’t want to be too matchy-matchy.

Sue: I feel like it could use a scorpion on the chest.

Steve: No.

Aidy: Disagree.

Steve: God, no.

Linda: Too literal.

Steve: No. I want it to feel like scorpion by suggesting themes like danger, poison, night. And it’s a very earthy color story.

Sue: yeah. But I just think it could be a cool–

Steve: No, I know, but it’s a garment, it’s not a costume.

Sue: Alright. Alright.

Steve: Yeah. I mean scorpion on the chest. What? Do you wear a blouse with like “Sue’ written on it?

Sue: Alright!

Aidy: Oh, dear god! I didn’t see the back.

[Steve turns around. There’s a big hole at the back.]

Girls: Oh!

Steve: Thank you. I just wanted a little, you know, like, [slaps his own butt] umm!

Sue: Look at that butt!

Steve: Oh, it’s– it’s padded. Shh.

Steve: Could you make something for me?

Aidy: I honestly feel like this might be your thing, Steve.

Steve: Scorpio!

Aidy: Scorpio. I need to see a whole collection from you, Scorpio.

Sue: Yeah. Being a superhero is a skill, but designing is a talent.

Radio: Maximilian threatens to blow up city hall in five minutes. This city needs a hero.

[Steve turns the radio off]

Steve: I made a capelet for winter missions. Would you guys like to see it?

Girls: Oh, yes!

[Steve pulls out his cape with scorpion print]

Linda: What? How did you get it to not crease at the seams?

Steve: Yeah. I actually cut it along the bias.

Aidy: Oh, I cannot!

[explosion sound]

Linda: Oh, my god! City hall.

Steve: Should I design wedding dresses?

Sue: Yes! Please!

[Ends with a comic picture of a Scorpio Boutique]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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