Ryan… Beck Bennett
Adam… Chris Pine
Alex… Kyle Mooney
Robber… Pete Davidson
[Starts with Ryan and Adam playing video game in the living room]Ryan: Well, that’s game over for me. You wanna maybe watch TV later?
Adam: Sounds good.
Ryan: Okay. See you later.
Adam: Okay.
[Ryan walks out and Alex walks in]Alex: Hey, Adam, playing a video game?
Adam: Yeah. I love it.
Alex: Well, don’t forget. Tonight I’m making margaritas.
Adam: Oh, that’s perfect. Ryan and I are going to watch TV later.
[Cut to Alex narrating]Alex narrating: Wait, what? Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this? I’ve got to figure out what’s going on.
[Cut to Adam and Alex in the living room]Alex: Hey, Adam. I think we need to talk.
Adam: Okay.
Adam narrating: I have absolutely no idea what Alex wants to talk about. He gotta remember, I’m just playing my video game.
[Cut to Adam and Alex in the living room. Adam stops playing video game]Adam: So, what’s up?
Alex: it’s just, I was going to make margaritas for just you and then I heard about the whole TV thing with with Ryan? I guess I”m confused.
Adam: I sort of forgot about margarita night.
[Cut to Alex narrating]Alex narrating: Excuse me? Adam was one of the only guys in the house I can trust and he forgets about margarita night? Now, I’ve really gotta figure what’s going on.
[Cut to Adam and Alex in the living room]Alex: So, you just forgot?
Adam: I’m sorry. Are we still cool?
Alex: I guess. [intense music] We are! [Adam and Alex happily stand] I’m really proud of you for telling me the truth.
Adam narrating: Alex and I are cool again. He’s quickly becoming one of my favorite guys in the house.
[Adam and Alex sit on the couch and starts watching TV] [Ryan walks in with drinks too]Ryan: Hey, hey. I’m ready for TV time with my main man, Adam. I made Pina Coladas. [Ryan sees Adam and Alex sitting together] Wait, Alex? [Alex stands and stares at Ryan]
Adam narrating: Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you, drama.
Adam: Ryan, can we talk?
Ryan: Is anyone ever going to explain to me what the hell is going on here?
[Cut to Ryan, Adam and Alex in the living room]Adam: We wanna explain what’s going on here.
Ryan narrating: Okay. Finally, some answers. I’m listening, people.
Adam: What happened earlier that I think you should know about.
[cut to flashbacks]Alex: Tonight I’m making margaritas.
Adam: I forgot about margaritas.
[Cut to Ryan, Adam and Alex in the living room]Ryan: Wait! You were going to make margaritas?
Alex: Yup. And now that I’ve seen that you’ve made Pina Coladas, we need to have a chit-chat.
[Cut to Ryan narrating]Ryan narrating: Yep, this is my life.
[Cut to Adam narrating]Adam narrating: Okay, no comment.
Guy: I’m staying out of this.
[Cut to Ryan, Adam and Alex in the living room]Adam: I think you guys need some privacy.
Alex: The reason I wanted to talk to you is I want to cancel margarita night and I want to know if you will make me a Pina Colada.
Ryan narrating: Really?
Ryan: The answer to your question is… [intense music] no. Because it’s already made! There’s extra left in the blender. [happy music playing] Now, I’m gonna go pour some for you now.
[Cut to The House video bumper]Female voice: When we return to The House, Seattle, season six… thousand.
[Cut to Ryan, Adam and Alex in the living room] [a robber breaks in]Robber: Everybody, give me the f* money right now!
Alex narrating: Say what?
Adam narrating: First the margaritas, and now this? Guess that’s why they call it ‘The House.’
Robber narrating: Welcome to my awkward life.
