The Race

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Ian… Beck Bennett

Alex Moffatt

Chris Redd

Kevins… Kyle Mooney

Lindsay… Saoirse Ronan

Mrs. Routs…Saoirse Ronan

[Starts with Ian running somewhere in the office. He’s wearing a black suit. He crosses the hallway, passes many staffs and reaches to Alex and Chris. Alex is looking at the timer.]

Alex: Eight seconds flat.

Chris: Even better than last week.

Ian: Wow. I didn’t think I could get any faster.

[Kevins walks in]

Oh, I see you finally made it to work, Kevins. What happened? Did you walk here?

[everyone laughing]

Kevins: [sarcastically] Really funny, Ian.

[Kevins takes his seat. Lindsay is looking at him. She sits just at the next desk.]

Lindsay: Hey, you okay?

Kevins: Yeah. I’m fine.

[Mrs. Routs walks in]

Mrs. Routs: Good morning, everyone.

All: Good morning, Mrs. Routs.

Mrs. Routs: As you all know, it’s a big week for us. So I printed out some copies of– Oh, no! I left them down the hall.

[Ian suddenly starts running, comes back with the prints and gives them to Mrs. Routs.]

Wow! Okay, well, everyone take a good look at these and keep it up, Ian. That was fast.

Ian: Thank you, Mrs. Routs.

[Cut to Kevins and Lindsay]

Kevins: I hate him.

Lindsay: So he’s fast, big deal.

Kevins: You don’t get it. When you can run like that, you’ve got it all. Money, all of those.

Lindsay: Why don’t you race him?

Kevins: I haven’t run for years.

Lindsay: You used to run around the office all the time.

[Cut to video clip of Kevins running around the office and everybody clapping for him] [Cut back to Kevins and Lindsay]

Kevins: Yeah. But then this happened.

[Kevins shows Lindsay a hole on his pants.]

Lindsay: So you made it complete fool out of yourself once. Who’s to say you can’t run fast again?

Kevins: And risk getting another hole in my pants? I’d rather [bleep] kill myself.

[Mrs. Routs walks in]

Mrs. Routs: And one more thing, I’m gonna need someone to run down the hall and pick up the signed documents tomorrow.

[Lindsay stands]

Lindsay: Kevins will do it.

Ian: What?

[Others are laughing]

Kevins: [whispering] What the hell are you doing?

Mrs. Routs: Kevins? Huh, well, I’ll let you guys decide.

[Ian, Alex and Chris walk to Kevins]

Ian: Well, well, well. What have you gotten yourself into, Kevins? Why don’t you leave it to somebody who isn’t slow?

[Alex and Chris are laughing]

Kevins: Okay, Ian, you wanna get the signed documents? Why don’t we race for it? Winner gets the signed documents.

Ian: Alright, Kevins, after hours, reception, be there. That is if you’re not too busy being slow.

[Ian, Alex and Chris jog away.]

Kevins: What have I gotten myself into?

Lindsay: Listen, I’ll train you.

Kevins: What?

Lindsay: I used to run fast too. Well, before this happened.

[Lindsay shows Kevins two holes on her pants.]

Kevins: Oh!

Lindsay: I understand if you don’t want my help.

[Lindsay turns and walks away]

Kevins: Wait, Lindsay. Or should I say, coach?

[Cut to Kevins walking. It looks like he’s trying to run. Lindsay is looking at him looking at the timer.]

Lindsay: Faster. I think my work here is done.

[Cut to Ian and Kevins getting ready to race. Lindsay had a gun in her hand.]

Kevins: Good luck.

[Ian spits on Kevins’s face.]

Lindsay: Ready?

[Lindsay shoots the gun upwards and Ian and Kevins begin running. All the staffs are looking and cheering for the race. Kevins wins the race. As everybody are cheering for him, Kevins looks at Lindsay and waves. Lindsay disappears.]

Random creature: She was a ghost.

[Cut to everybody in the office. Mrs. Routs walks in.]

Mrs. Routs: Alright everybody, let’s jump right in. As you all know, Lindsay turned out to be a ghost, that’s neither here or–

Ian: [interrupting] There’s something I need to tell you. Kevins is gonna pick up the signed documents from own the hall. He’s the fastest man for the job.

Mrs. Routs: Oh, no need. I came in a little early and I got them myself.

Ian: Okay.

Kevins: Cool.

Ian: No problem.

Mrs. Routs: I don’t know exactly what we do here, but let’s get to work.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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