Vanessa Bayer
Sabine… Kristen Stewart
Beck Bennett
Kyle Mooney
Bobby Moynihan
[Starts with a group os guys watching football]
Beck: Come on, yes!
Kyle: Go, go, go, go.
All: Touchdown!
[Wife walks in]
Wife: Is everyone enjoying the big game?
Beck: Oh, come on babe, don’t act like you know sports.
[Cut to Wife in the kitchen]
Wife: [smiling] My husband’s right. When it comes to the big game, there’s only one thing I know about, feeding my hungry guys.
All: No, no! Fumble!
Wife: And this year’s game is bigger than ever. Which means I’ll be feeding them more Totinos than ever.
Beck: Babe, we need more Totinos, Dave just got here.
Wife: Not a problem, because this year I’ve got the new Totino’s Totino two-pack. It’s twice the Totino for twice the hungry guys.
Beck: Enough yapping, we need the Totinos. Ted’s here too, and he brought his sister.
Wife: Great, more hands to help me make delicious Totinos pi–
[Wife looks at Sabine and gets mesmerized.]
[music playing]
Pizza rolls. Oh, my!
[Sabine walks to Wife]
Sabine: Hi. I’m Sabine. what’s your name?
Wife: I never had one.
Sabine: That’s a shame.
[Wife turns around and starts putting the Totino rolls on tray. Sabine starts putting the rolls and slowly touches Wife’s hands.]
Wife: I should bring these out.
Sabine: No, stay with me.
Wife: But– what about my hungry guys?
Sabine: What are you hungry for?
Guys: Go, go, go, yes! Touchdown! Hey, babe, we need those Totinos, what’s going on back there?
[Wife and Sabine are in the kitchen hugging each other and dancing softly.]
[Wife is drawing a picture of Sabine eating Totinos.]
[Wife looks away]
Sabine: What is it?
Wife: Every big game before this one, I’ve been asleep. But, Sabine, [speaking in French. The subtitle reads ‘You have awoken me. I feel like we are the only two people on Earth.’]
Beck: They’re gonna punt.
[Wife and Sabine open their clothes and slowly touches each other’s skin with Totinos.]
Wife: [In French] My husband has his Totinos. And you are my Totino.
Beck: Babe, what’s taking so long with those Totinos? You girls making out back there?
[The guys laugh]
Bobby: You’re crazy.
[Wife and Sabine are actually making out]
Female voice: Totino. This spring, find your Totino.
Beck: Babe? Babe?
