Tournament Fighter

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Amy… Melissa Villaseñor

Pete Davidson

Kyle Mooney

Kenan Thompson

Scorpinox… Mikey Day

Deathstripe… Kate McKinnon

Pyro… Luke Null

Boo Boo Jeffries… Tiffany Haddish

Mark… Alex Moffat

[Starts with Amy and Pete playing video game in Gamer Con. Kyle is hosting the show.]

Amy: Come on, come on, come on! Damn!

Video game voice: Scorpinox wins.

Pete: Yes! Nice game.

Kyle: Alright. That was epic. Alright, attention, video gamers. Sonic Goon just knocked out Gamer Chick XX which means the quarterfinal match of the death fight 12 tournament will be Sonic Goon Vs. Pone Dunky. Pune Dunky, make your way to the tournament stage.

[Kenan walks in]

Kenan: Alright, let’s do this. Let’s do this. What’s up? What’s up? Alright, cool. What’s up? [Amy walks out and Kenan takes her place]

Kyle: Alright, one match. Best two out of three rounds. Sonic Goon, you are player one. Pick your Death Fighter.

[Cut to the video game character selection]

Video game voice: Player one, choose your fighter. Scorpinox. You selected Scorpinox.

Scorpinox: No mercy. Only pain.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Damn, man! I was gonna be Scorpinox. That’s cool though. Let’s see who our Pone Dunky gonna beat you with.

Video game voice: Player two, choose your fighter.

[Cut to video game character selection]

Deathstripe.

Deathstripe: Let’s rip some throats up.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Na, I don’t like Deathstripe’s combos. Next please.

[Cut to video game character selection]

Video game voice: Pyro.

Pyro: Who wants to feel the burn?

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Pyro’s too slow, man. I need somebody like Doom Snake. Where my boy Doon Snake at?

[Cut to video game character selection]

Video game voice: Boo Boo Jeffries.

Boo Boo Jeffries: Boo Boo Jeffries, y’all know me! Hah!

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Boo Boo Jeffries? Yo, part 12 added some whack characters. I’m sorry, Boo Boo, but that’s a next.

[Kenan mistakenly presses ‘select’ button] [Cut to video game character selection]

Video game voice: You selected Boo Boo Jeffries.

Boo Boo Jeffries: Knock, knock, who’s there? Boo Boo Jeffries. Boo Boo Jeffries, who? If you don’t know, you stupid.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Hey, I pushed a wrong button. Can we start it over?

Kyle: Hey, sorry dude. No resets in tournament play.

Kenan: Even if we accidentally pick Boo Boo Jeffries? A character that I have never even seen before?

Pete: Hey, let’s go to our fighter overview.

[Cut to video game fighter overview]

Video game voice: Boo Boo Jeffries fighter overview.

Boo Boo Jeffries: Get to know your girl, Boo Boo Jeffries.

Video game voice: Primary attack.

Boo Boo Jeffries: Rihanna! Rihanna! Rihanna!

Video game voice: Secondary attack.

Boo Boo Jeffries: Beyoncé! Beyoncé! Beyonce!

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Yo! Those are her special moves? This is a game where you rip people’s heads off.

[Cut to video game fighter overview]

Video game voice: Fighter’s strehgths.

Boo Boo Jeffries: My relationship with my mom. She’s my best friend

Video game voice: Fighter weaknesses.

Boo Boo Jeffries: My biggest weakness is fighting.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Fighting? Thats the only thing you got to be good at in this. It’s called Death Fight!

[Cut to video game fighter overview]

Boo Boo Jeffries: My other weakness is, I get weird in groups. I’m great one on one but in groups, sad is my ass shuts down. I get quiet and all in my head, “Why do I do that?”

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: I don’t know, Boo Boo Jeffries. Hey man, I payed 75 bucks to play in this tournament, man. Just let me be Doom Snake.

Kyle: Ay, I’m sorry man. Rules are rules. Good luck, gentlemen.

[Cut to the game fight]

Video game voice: Scorpinox versus Boo Boo Jeffries. Round one. Fight!

Scorpinox: Death punch!

[Scorpinox punches Boo Boo Jeffries on her face. Boo Boo Jeffries heal bar is empty.]

Boo Boo Jeffries: No!

[Boo Boo Jeffries walks out]

Video game voice: Scorpinox wins.

Scorpinox: Your defeat tastes delicious.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: She left? Yo, I didn’t even get to push one button.

[Cut to Kyle and Amy]

Amy: You should have done a Rihanna on him.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: No, I should have picked Doom Snake.

[Cut to Kyle and Amy]

Kyle: Hey, you’re never gonna win with an attitude like that. Let’s go round two.

[Cut to video game]

Video game voice: Round two. Fight!

Boo Boo Jeffries: [staying at one place] Rihanna! Rihanna! Rihanna!

[Boo Boo Jeffries’ move did no damage to Scorpinox] [Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Yeah. Yeah, that Rihanna move was a big help, thanks.

Kyle: Hey, try to do combo or something, bro. Come on, now.

Kenan: Alright, let’s see what this combo is all about.

[Cut to video game]

Boo Boo Jeffries: Boo Boo Jeffries combo, prepare to be marked!

Video game voice: Combo!

Kenan: You getting marked for death. I knew my girl Boo Boo would come through.

Boo Boo Jeffries: This is my sister’s husband, Mark. You in trouble now.

[Mark walks in wearing a formal outfit.]

Mark: Okay, listen up, buster. The funny business ends now. Now, hit the road, Jack!

Boo Boo Jeffries: That’s a real man right there.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: I am literally pushing no buttons right now. This is just happening.

[Cut to video game]

Mark: Hey! Hey, bud? You got wax in your ears? I said, scram!

[Scorpinox punches Mark on his stomach. Mark falls.] [Cut to Pete and Kenan]

Kenan: Wow! Really saved the day there, Mark.

[Cut to video game]

Boo Boo Jeffries: Okay, real talk. Nothing good comes from violence. When you fight, you lose. So, Boo Boo Jeffries is removing her self from the situation, which means Boo Boo Jeffries wins.

[Cut to Pete and Kenan looking all confused]

Kenan: Wins at what? Live or the game?

[Cut to video game]

Video game voice: Scorpinox wins.

Kenan: Oh, so not the game.

[Cut to Pete,Kenan, Kyle and Amy]

Great. Great. Cool.

Kyle: And Sonic Goon takes it. He’s going to the semi.

Kenan: Well, I guess there’s a reason why Boo Boo Jeffries isn’t on the cover of this game with all other fighers.

Amy: Yeah. She hates group settings.

Kenan: I’m sorry, what’s your name?

Amy: Amy.

Kenan: Shut up, Amy!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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