Michael Che[Starts with Colin Jost. There’s a picture of ‘Plan B One-Step’ in vending machine at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: The University of California Devis has installed a new vending machine that sells ‘Plan B’ emergency contraception. While at Florida state, they just shoot it out of T-shirt cannons at half time.[Cut to Michael Che. there’s a picture of a woman wearing a colorful dress at right top corner.]
Michael Che: An artist recently completed a dress made out of 10,000 Starburst wrappers. Nice try, said a stiff breeze. [Picture changes to stiff breeze wrappers] [Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of men wearing rompers at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A kick starter project has been launched to create a line of rompers for men called Rompim. As a victim of the beating was wearing a Rompim.[Picture changes to a prison cell]
A new gym has opened in New York called Con Body which looks like a prison and features workouts developed by former inmates. So, you might want to shower at home.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of China map at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Officials in a small town in China have given into animal rights activists and made it illegal to sell dog meat. So, good news animals. Free dog meat![Picture changes to Dwayne Johnson]
A new poll shows that Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson would beat Donald Trump in hypothetical race for president. That’s true. [cheers and applause] The Rock would also beat his long time rival, Dwayne ‘The Scissors’ Johnson.