Weekend Update 50 Shades of Gray

0
(0)

Michael Che

Shelly Duncan… Leslie Jones

Greg Duncan… Mikey Day

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

 Michael Che: Thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray films, many couples have been experimenting with bondage and S&M in the bedroom. Here to share their expertise is a couple who recent gave it a shot, Greg and Shelly Duncan.

[Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan slide in. Greg Duncan has black eyes and his lips are bleeding.]

 Greg Duncan: Hello. Hello, Michael.

 Shelly Duncan: Thank you for having us.

 Michael Che: Now, was it difficult to take that first step into S&M?

[Cut to Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan]

 Shelly Duncan: Well, if you’re like me, you might feel a little shy at first.

 Greg Duncan: Yes.

 Shelly Duncan: So, I recommend loosening up with a glass of wine or two.

 Greg Duncan: Absolutely. And going off the theme of proper preparation. It’s also important to figure out the extent to which your limbs can bend before they break. And honey, that goes for you penis as well.

[Cut to Michael Che, Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan]

 Michael Che: Now, in 50 Shades of Gray movie, there’s a lot of spanking. Is that something you guys tried?

 Shelly Duncan: Oh boy.

 Greg Duncan: Yeah. I can take that one. [Cut to Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan] Yes, we did. But just a heads up, as a couple take the time to define what a spank is. Is it an open hand tap on the rear end? Or a closed fist punch to everywhere?

 Shelly Duncan: Gregory!

 Greg Duncan: What?

 Shelly Duncan: Keep some things private, baby.

 Greg Duncan: I’m sorry, baby.

 Shelly Duncan: But my husband makes a good point. Know what your partner feels comfortable with. Like– Are blindfolds okay?

 Greg Duncan: Um-hmm. Yeah. Is picking your partner up over your head and burning him on an overhead light cool? Guilty?

 Shelly Duncan: Are handcuffs a fair game? In my case, yes.

 Greg Duncan: Um-hmm. Does being water boarded with your own urine turn you one? In my case, no.

[Cut to Michael Che, Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan]

 Michael Che: So, this just sounds painful. What did you enjoy about it?

[Cut to Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan]

 Shelly Duncan: Well, we love getting creative and pretending to be other people. Didn’t we, baby?

 Greg Duncan: Uh-huh. I even had a little name for her. I called her mistress Xanda. And what was that little name you had for me?

 Shelly Duncan: Toilet dog. And I would say fun little things like, “Eat your fear little toilet dog. Grr!”

[Cut to Michael Che, Shelly Duncan and Greg Duncan]

 Michael Che: Yeah. Well…

 Greg Duncan: She’s shy.

 Michael Che: Yeah, she looks shy. Any final tips for viewers who might still be interested in giving S&M a shot?

 Shelly Duncan: Go for it. A little pain could make a big difference.

 Greg Duncan: Um, yeah. Also, know your blood type.

 Michael Che: Toilet Dog and Shelly Duncan, everybody! For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che!

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight!

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments