Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of American Airlines logo at right top corner.]
Michael Che: The CEO of American Airlines met with the head of the NAACP over allegation has the airline is racially biased. And I bet they both showed up late. It’s okay for me to make that joke because I’m racist. [audience laughing] You know, of all the stereotypes about black people, I have never heard that we are bad on planes. Now, if you said the NAACP had a meeting with the CEO of Lowe’s movie theaters, yeah, that tracks. But black people are awesome on planes. We always have our headphones. We always wear socks. We never talk to strangers unless we are telling you to shut that baby up. The real people you need to worry about on planes are white women named Gail who claps when plane lands.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of MTV Floribama Shore logo at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: MTV has launced a spin-off of it’s hit ‘Jersey Shore’ series set on the coast of Alabama and Florida called ‘Floribama Shore’, where the cast members can contract Gonnormidia.[Picture changes to a Halloween candy basket.]
A mom in Wisconsin told police that she found a pack of meth in her child’s halloween candy right after police asked her why she was raking the leaves naked at midnight.