Awkwafina Monologue | Season 44 Episode 2

Host…..Awkwafina

[Starting the show on the stage with a band playing music]

Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, Awkwafina.

[Awkwwafina walks out onto the stage in front of the SNL band and waves to the audience]

Awkwafina: [Cut to Awkwafina] Thank you. Thank you. I’m so stoked to be hosting Saturday Night Live. My name is Awkwafina. Thank you, guys.

Yeah, I was going to come out dressed like a water bottle, but apparently, someone did that last week. Just right out at the top, I want to say Hi to my grandma, “Hi Grandma,” who’s watching at home in Queens. She thinks the show is called “Comedy Central.” so she might definitely be watching  a rerun of “Tosh Point.O” right now. Grandma, but either way I love you and this one is for you.

It’s been a really cool year for me. I was in a movie called “Crazy Rich Asians.” [Crowd cheers and applauds for Awkwafina]

Yes, and if you don’t know me, I’m just your average Asian trumpet player turned rapper turned actress, very stereotypical. But people still make all these assumptions about me. Like for example, some of my friends are like, “Oh, your movie is out dude. You must be loaded”, which is not true. I am not a crazy rich Asian. I’m more like a ‘rebuilding my credit’ Asian. [Crowd laughs] I’m not buying private jets. I’m splashing out on economy plus with a light room. So it’s like an extra appetizer red lobster. You know? Like, I buy my underwear in packs of 12 at CVS. That’s me. Thank you. That was a- I love that underwear pack joke.

I’m actually from New York. I grew up in Queens. [Crowd cheers] Whoo! Queens. My dad still lives there. My dad! People assume my dad has an accent and he does. He sounds like Donald Trump because they’re both old guys from Queens. So whenever I go home, he’s like, “Sweetie, I love you so much. Never forget, your family is from China”. Very rattling. Thank you. [Crowd laughs]

Very unsettling. No, but before we start, I just want to say, and this is a true story, back in 2000 I came here to 30 rock and waited outside when my idol Lucy Liu hosted SNL. I was a kid. Yes. I was a kid, and I didn’t have a ticket, so I knew I wasn’t getting in. But I just wanted to be near the building. And I remember how important that episode was for me and how it totally changed what I thought was possible for an Asian-American woman. Standing here tonight is a dream I never thought would come true. So thank you, Lucy, for opening the door. I wasn’t able to make it in the building back then, but 18 years later I am hosting the show. [Crowd cheers and applauds for Awkwafina] So I love you, Lucy. I love you, Lucy Liu, be my friend. We got a great show, Travis Scott is here. Stick around; we’ll be right back.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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