Baby Shower | Season 44 Episode 2

Deedee…..Awkwafina

…..Heidi Gardner

Janet…..Aidy Bryant

…..Leslie Jones

Carrie…..Cecily Strong

…..Melissa Villaseñor

[Five ladies are sitting inside a room for a baby shower]

Heidi: Who got me this? Janet was this from you? It’s a little bib that says ‘Hot Mess’.

Janet: [Cut to Janet sitting holding her baby] Yes, yes, there is this store that puts gay talk on baby things and I can’t get enough.

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi] That’s so cute.

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie] Hey, what’s the door code?

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi and Carrie] 343, why?

Carrie: Oh, my girl Deedee just got here.

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie and Janet] Your girl? What do you mean?

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie] Oh yes, I invited my dog walker to come.

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi, confused] To my baby shower?

Janet: Why?

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie] Because she’s cool and we’ve gotten very close through texts and she’s like somebody I want to be more like.

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi, confused] Okay I guess.

[Deedee comes through the door with a pizza slice on her hand]

Deedee: Oh hey, what’s up? I’m Deedee, Hi.

Carrie: Deedee, hi, come sit down next to me. [Carrie pushes away her friend Tina who was already sitting next to her]

Deedee: Hi, cool party. Looks like I’m the youngest one here, pretty dope.

Tina: [Cut to Tina] I guess so. Do you need a plate for that?

Deedee: [Cut to Deedee and Carrie] I mean pizza’s a plate right?

Carrie: Pizza’s a plate. Haha, that’s Deedee.

Deedee: So who’s the baby shower for?

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi raising her hands] Me. Oh my go, I can’t believe my due date is so soon.

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet] Aww, don’t be nervous. We’ve all been through it. You’ll be fine.

Tina: I’ve had three.

Janet: Yeah, and I’ve had my Joshua.

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie and Deedee] Well, we don’t all have kids. I’d need to find a boyfriend first.

[Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet laugh out loud] [Cut to Carrie and Deedee looking at them laugh]

Deedee: Excuse me, why did everyone laugh?

Janet: [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet] Well, she made a little joke.

[Cut to Carrie and Deedee]

Deedee: Is it a joke? I mean Carrie doesn’t have a partner or anything, so is that the funny part?

Carrie: Deedee, it’s fine.

Deedee: Is it fine? Because I think they’re being rude knowing your situation.

Carrie: I know they are, okay? But this is what I’m used to, okay? It’s not like I can say something. [Carrie speaks with a crying voice, then storms out of the sofa]

Deedee: Carrie, where are you going?

Carrie: I’m going away.

Deedee: Carrie, look at me.

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie and Janet] What’s happening?

Janet: I don’t know.

Deedee: [Cut to Deedee and Carrie] If you leave right now, they win. Is that what you want?

Carrie: No, I just like– I don’t need to be reminded of not having a boyfriend, you know? [Deedee starts to stare at them angrily] Like, honestly. I’ve always been the cutest one and I’ve had the best personality [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet looking at Carrie in disbelief saying all these negative things about them] and none of these girls even dated in high school. I did. So where’s my baby?

Tina: [Cut to Tina and Leslie] Hi, why don’t we just go back to opening gifts? This one’s for me and my triplets.

Deedee: [Cut to Deedee and Carrie] Okay, nope. New plan. You’ve upset our friend Carrie. So we’re going to get rid of all the baby crap in this room.

Janet: What?

Deedee: Everybody get up. We’re getting all the baby stuff out of this room. We’re not doing this to Carrie. Up, up, up. Hey prego!(pregnant) Up!

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie] Thanks for being on my side. [Deedee goes to tear the posters and throw the balloons]

Tina: Hey. What–? No, don’t! Don’t rip that down. This is a baby shower.

Heidi: My baby shower. What? Hey!

Deedee: Can you stop talking about yourself for five seconds or what? Carrie just opened up her heart.

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet] She said she was prettier than all of us.

Tina: And had a better personality.

Carrie: That’s all you heard? And now you just have to stand here and stare at your baby.

[Cut to Janet confused]

Deedee: Hey, um, put that baby in the bedroom.

Janet: Uh, no.

Deedee: Because I’m asking you nicely, you put that baby in the bedroom or I will.

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet] Oh my go, you need to calm down.

Deedee: [Cut to Deedee and Carrie] I will tear this place apart if that’s what it takes to get you to care about your friend.

Tina: [Cut to Leslie, Tina and Janet] Carrie, you have never mentioned wanting a baby.

Carrie: [Cut to Deedee and Carrie] Because I haven’t. I just thought about it right now.

Deedee: I have asked you three times to put that baby in the bedroom.

Janet: Okay. [Janet stands up and Deedee walks towards Janet] Oh my god. [Walking away from Deedee] Come on Josh.

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi] Carrie, I didn’t even know you were looking to date anyone. Why don’t you go out with my friend Reggie? He think you’re really cute.

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie and Deedee] Wait what? He does? What?

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi nodding her head] Yes, I emailed you that.

Carrie: [Cut to Carrie and Deedee] You did? When? It must have gotten to my junk. Oh no, I threw it out. Look at Reggie, oh he’s cute. Yeah, I guess. Like, yeah. Cool.

Deedee: All right, well this seems good. Feel better?

Carrie: Yeah.

Deedee: Good. I just want you to remember you’re better than them looks-wise and personality-wise. Don’t let them bully you anymore, okay?

Carrie: Thanks girl.

Deedee: All right, what are we doing? Shots? Presents?

Heidi: [Cut to Heidi] Presents, thank you, but should we go tell Janet she can come back?

Leslie: [Cut to Leslie and Tina] No, she’s been having nervous gas this whole time.

Tina: How do you know it wasn’t the baby?

Leslie: What does the baby have to be nervous about?

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of