Wife… Cecily Strong
Husband… Matt Damon
Wife’s family members… Aidy Bryant, Beck Bennett, Mikey Day[Starts the video with decorated Christmas tree][Cut to other Christmas decorations][Cut to the title of the video ‘Best Christmas Ever’][Cut to fireplace in the house][Cut to husband sitting on a couch at night. His wife joins him and sits beside him]
Wife: Okay, kids are finally asleep. All right, what is there left to do? Dishes?
Husband: Already done.
Wife: Oh, my god, you are an angel. So did you have a Merry Christmas?
Husband: Are you kidding me? That was the best Christmas ever.
Husband: Babe, I had a smile on my face from the moment I woke up.
Kids: Mom! Wake up! [Kids start to jump on the bed] It’s Christmas! Wake up. Wake up.[Cut to night stand clock that shows 5:41 in the morning. Husband looks at the clock.]
Husband: Oh, my god! Are you [Bleep] kidding me?[Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Husband: I think I was more excited than the kids.
Wife: I know, I was the same way.[Cut to husband and wife sitting on a couch at day time. Kids are yelling.][Cut to kids opening presents below the Christmas tree.][Cut to husband and wife tired and annoyed.] [Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Husband: They liked their presents, Right?
Wife: Dana loves her playhouse. You weren’t up too late building it, were you?
Husband: [Angry] This is [Bleep]! Piece of [Bleep]![Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Husband: No. It was a breeze.
Wife: My family didn’t ruin your day, did they?
Husband: No, I love that we hosted this year.[Cut to husband opens the door welcoming his wife’s family.]
Husband: Merry –[Cut to Beck and Aidy complaining and getting inside.]
Beck: Traffic was awful!
Aidy: Three hours!
Beck: Whoa, you gained weight! [Laughs] [Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband: Honestly, babe, they made my day.[Cut to kids annoying husband. Husband is on the floor, and kids are jumping on him and yelling.][Cut to Cameron coughing. Husband notices him.]
Husband: Hey, Rach, is Cameron sick?[Cut to Cameron smiling with his running nose.] [Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Husband: I can’t believe your cousin made the drive.
Wife: I know. It was so nice to see him.
Husband: Yeah.[Cut to Mikey sitting next to Aidy on a family dining table with his Trump’s “Make America Great Again” hat.]
Mikey: Why do I have to take it off? Why?[Cut to wife sitting across the table.]
Wife: Because it’s my dinner table, in front of my kids![Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: You’re racist against whites!
Wife: What?[Cut to Mikey and Aidy]
Mikey: You’re racist against whites!
Aidy: She is.[Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Husband: How about you, the hostess with the moistest? Taking care of everybody? How do you do it?
Wife: I guess I was just full of Christmas cheer.
Husband: Well, I had a perfect day.
Wife: Me too.
Husband: This is going to sound corny, but [Cut to kids arguing] I don’t know if it was you and the kids – [Cut to husband hugging his daughter, daughter is crying] [Cut to husband hugging his daughter, daughter is crying]
Husband: [Cut to husband hugging his daughter, daughter is crying] You’re not adopted. She’s not adopted. Why would you call her that?
Husband: Or the family being here— [Cut to family dancing. Beck stands and farts at husband’s face] [Cut to Husband opening his present. His present is slippers that look like feet of a bear.]
Husband: [Cut to Husband opening his present. His present is slippers that look like feet of a bear.] But I definitely felt some Christmas magic today. [Kids are looking at their father to see his reaction.] Absolutely love them! Come on, guys. [Kids hug their father.]Thank You, guys. Thank you, guys.[Cut back to husband and wife sitting on a couch again]
Wife: Best Christmas ever?[Husband puts his legs on the table. He’s wearing his bear feet slippers.]
Husband: Best Christmas ever.
Kids: Mom! He’s in my room! Get out!
Husband: I’ll go in there. [Husband goes to his kids.]