T’kana… Sterling K. Brown
T’Challa… Chris Brown
Oni… Leslie Jones
M’Butu… Kenan Thompson
[Starts with different comic clips of Black Panther]Male voice: Black Panther. Now, Marvel Digital unleashes several deleted scenes. Our first find T’Challa on a spiritual journey to D’Jalia, the mystical realm of the ancestors. There he asks for wisdom to guide him in the impending war.
[Cut to T’Challa in D’Jalia. He is looking at the tree. T’kana walks in.]T’kana: Welcome my son.
T’Challa: Who are you?
T’kana: Do you not know? I am T’kana, your great, great grandfather.
T’Challa: But you’ve been dead for decades.
T’kana: Ha-ha-ha. Only my body has gone. My spirit lives here as do all the ancestors.
[Oni walks in]Oni: As will your’s someday.
T’Challa: Great aunt Oni?
Oni: Yes, nephew. We are all here. Every relative you have ever known. The royal bloodline stretching through all of time. Even those who married into it.
[There are other relatives who are in line. Then there’s M’Butu who is making barbecue.]M’Butu: Alright, who wants some burger? Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, they’r gonna be ready in about two to three minutes now.
T’Challa: Uncle M’Butu.
M’Butu: T’Challa? Boy, I’ve seen you in a long time. What’s happening? Ay! Ay! Ay! Junior, you gotta take their plate at your lip if you gonna go swimming. That’s how you get the swamp mouth.
T’Challa: But I thought you were alive.
M’Butu: Oh, well, yeah, I was up until about two, three days ago, man. You now how my old lady’s one of them bald warrior women who guard the king?
T’Challa: Yes.
M’Butu: You know, the Dora Milage. Yeah, well, the other night I simply suggested maybe she wear a wig. You know? Just to be playful. I said, “Damn, woman. I’m tired of making love to Michael Jordan.” That’s the last thing I remember. Ha-ha. And now I’m here in what I guess is heaven. But I got one question for y’all. Where’s the weed at?
Oni: I told you, there is no weed.
M’Butu: Oh, you hiding it, huh? Um-umm.
T’kana: Uncle M’Butu is still adjusting. You can’t pick your family.
M’Butu: Yeah. T’Challa, look here. My bank account is running a little low right now. Can you spot me a little vibranium? Come on, man. I need a new ride. Everybody here is riding a war rhino. You know what I got? An ostrich.
T’Challa: I have no possession on this spiritual plain.
M’Butu: Oh. That’s right. I forgot about that. Man, what time of day is it? Man, I can’t tell. Everything is purple. Ha-ha.
T’Challa: [to T’kana] All of you live here in harmony together?
Oni: We do our best.
T’Challa: Often, we take the form of a spirit animal. I am a panther.
Oni: And I am a panther.
M’Butu: Yeah. For some reason, I’m a warthog. Probably coz I’m round and I’m friendly. And every now and then I eat a little trash. [M’Butu is holding a burger] Somebody have one of these burgers, man. T’kana, come on.
T’kana: No, thank you.
M’Butu: Come on, man. You don’t never eat my cooking. This here is lion’s meat. The goo stuff. Check this here out. [M’Butu hold the burger like the monkey holds Simba in Lion King.] [singing Lion King song.] [After a moment, M’Butu takes a bite.]
Yeah, that’s still frozen. Um-hmm.
Oni: Uncle M’Butu! Please, T’Challa. What is your concern?
T’Challa: I am much troubled. Wakanda is in the verge of civil war. The Jubari are preparing to attack from the mountains. I am considering my first strike.
T’kana: My son, the Jubari are proud people. If you approach them with respect, they will return it.
M’Butu: Shh! Not likely! Ha-ha. Let me tell you something about the mountain folks, man. They are sneaky. And they all smell like goat milk.
T’kana: Um, M’Butu, thank you. I’m so glad I get to spend eternity with you together. Um, T’Challa, know this, for all of history there has been war. But only once in a while in a generation are there men who will come together– [M’Butu puts the burger in T’kana’s mouth] No! No, thank you.
M’Butu: You wanna taste it?
T’kana: No, thank you. Once in a generation, there are men who are committed–
M’Butu: [putting burger in T’kana’s mouth again] This is baby lion.
T’kana: I said no. No. Committed to peace.
M’Butu: Come on. Try a little bit. [M’Butu rubs the burger all over T’kana’s mouth.]
T’kana: I don’t want it!
M’Butu: I’m sorry, man. I’ll back off. But hey, T’Challa, stick around, man. You know what happens when you go away. We just sit here. Yeah. They all turn into panthers. I turn into a warthog again. And then they all start hunting me, man, because all they see is bacon. It’s hard. Help me out. Just for the weekend.
T’Challa: Oh! Here, have a komoyo bead.
M’Butu: Oh! That’s nice. Yeah. That’s real nice. You know, two would be nicer.
T’Challa: No
M’Butu: Alright. Well, you alright with me, T’Challa. Come on, y’all, let’s party, man! Somebody play my music.
[music playing. The other relatives come close to the barbecue and start dancing with M’Butu.]T’Challa: [to T’kana] Perhaps, I should return to seek guidance for my people.
T’kana: No. Stay. He’s worse when he’s a warthog.
M’Butu: Man, for real. What time of day is it? I don’t know.
It looks like Chris Redd, not Chris Brown in this sketch. Can you verify. Thx