Pete Davidson
Michael… Sterling K. Brown
Cecily Strong
Mrs. Gomez… Melissa Villaseñor
Alex Moffat
Luke Null
[Starts with Mrs. Gomez lying on the bed sick. Her children are there to take care of her.]
Pete: Mom, we’re right here.
[door knocking]
[Pete opens the door. Michael walks in.]
Cecily: Oh, Michael. So good to see you.
Michael: How is she doing?
Cecily: Not good. But she’ll be happy to see you. It’s been too long.
Michael: I came as soon as I heard. I’m glad I’m not too late.
Pete: Yeah. We don’t know how long she has left. It’s been a long day.
Cecily: Hey, mom. Michael’s here. Paramedics just left. Oh, she wants to say something to you.
Mrs. Gomez: Michael. Come here, Michae.
Michael: Hi, Mrs. Gomez. What is it?
Mrs. Gomez: There is something that I need to tell you.
Michael: Yes, ma’am. Anything. What is it? You can tell me.
Mrs. Gomez: I- I never made it.
Michael: Never made it? What do you mean never made it?
Mrs. Gomez: [hardly singing] I never made it as a wise man
I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing.
Michael: Um, what was that, Mrs. Gomez. Was that a Nickleback song? Mrs. Gomez, why are you telling me this?
Cecily: Michael. I think she needs to rest.
Michael: Can you just wait? I need to hear what she’s saying. Mrs. Gomez. What did you say?
[Mrs. Gomez groaning]
Cecily: I can’t stand seeing her in pain.
Pete: No. It will be okay. It will be okay.
Michael: Mrs. Gomez. Please.
Mrs. Gomez: I… I…
[music playing]
[hardly singing] I never made it as a wise man
I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing
tired of living like a blind man
I’m sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
[Michael is rocking his body to the music]
This is how you remind me of what I really am
[Mrs. Gomez groaning]
Michael: No. No, no, no, no. Mrs. Gomez.
Cecily: Oh, my god. Jonathan, get the paramedics. Quick. [Pete walks out] Michael, what did she say?
Michael: I don’t know. But it rocked. Come on, Mrs. Gomez. Wake up.
[Pete walks in with Alex and Luke. They’re both wearing their uniforms.]]
Alex: We got a situation here. Is this the woman who fell into the moshpit at the Nickelback concert?
Luke: Yes, it is. Everybody, clear the area.
Pete: What did my mom say?
Michael: It’s personal. Just back off.
Cecily: You can tell us. We’re her kids.
Alex: Give me the defibrillators.
Luke: Copy.
[Alex and Luke are getting the defibrillators ready.
Michael: I’m not sure you’ll be able to hear this but your mom said something really cool.
Cecily: Come on, Mike. Those might be my mother’s last words. You’re not gonna tell us?
Michael: Okay, fine. She said– Man, this is heavy. She said…
[music playing]
[singing] I never made it as a wise man
I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing
Alex: Clear!
[Alex and Luke give her the defibrillator shock]
Michael: Tired of living like a blind man
[Cecily is rocking her body to the music]
I’m sick of sight without a sense of feeling
Luke: I’ve heard a lot of last words, but your mom kicked the most ass. Clear!
[Alex hits her with defibrillator shock]
Michael: [singing] This is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I really am
Luke: Clear!
[Alex hits her with defibrillator shock. She wakes up and starts singing.]
Mrs. Gomez: It’s not like you to say sorry
[Everybody in the room are rocking their bodies.]
I was waiting on a different story
This time I’m mistaken
Michael and Mrs. Gomez: For handing you a heart worth breaking
And I’ve been wrong
I’ve been down
Into the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head scream
Are we having fun yet
All: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Mrs. Gomez: Oh, no!
[Mrs. Gomez finally dies. But people in the room are clapping for her.]
Michael: That’s Nickelback!
Alex: I don’t know why you guys are clapping. This woman is dead.
