Rochelle Koontz… Cecily Strong
Dean Swizz… Sam Rockwell.
Angelo Dolphintuna… Kenan Thompson.
Silvia Nunez… Melissa Villaseñor
Frances McDormand… Kate McKinnon
[Starts with ‘E’ intro]
Female voice: You’re watching E. It’s okay. You also read books.
[Cut to the set of ‘The Look’]
Rochelle Koontz: Welcome to ‘The Look’, E’s red carpet run down where we are now fashion positive. The times are changing and we’re trying to keep up. Ha-ha-ha. So I have read. I’m Rochelle Koontz and joining me is my co-host, Dean Swizz.
Dean Swizz: Thank you Rochelle, my favorite woman in E. Hey, on the count of three, let’s just say what we get paid. One, two, three. $600,000
Rochelle Koontz: $40,000
Dean Swizz: Okay. That backfired.
Rochelle Koontz: Sure did. Alright, today we’re joined by panel regular and stylist to the stars, Angelo Dolphintuna.
[Angelo Dolphintuna joins. He is wearing a suit and a luxurious fur outer.]
Angelo Dolphintuna: Yes. And please checkout my new book, ‘Work, Bitch: How I overcame prostate cancer.’
Dean Swizz: We love that.
Rochelle Koontz: We love that. Alright. And in the spirit of this year’s Golden Globes, we are delighted to welcome our guest panelist, Silvia Nunez. [Silvia Nunez joins] Director of ‘Our House Women’s Shelter.’ Silvia, why don’t you tell us a little bit about the work you do.
Silvia Nunez: At our house, we provide women–
Rochelle Koontz: [interrupting] Amazing.
Dean Swizz: Someone should provide women.
Rochelle Koontz: Yeah. If you’re watching to look, so let’s see those Golden Globes looks. [Video appears at the right bottom of the screen] First up, it’s Kate Hudson wearing Valentino. Panel, how do we feel about this look?
Dean Swizz: Ooh, I’m gonna say she looks empowered?
Angelo Dolphintuna: Yeah. She definitely looks as good as a man, if not, better. Can I say that?
Rochelle Koontz: You know what? I don’t even see a dress. I see a CEO. What do you think, Sylvia?
Silvia Nunez: Um, I think she looks beautiful.
Dean Swizz: Really? Really, Silvia? Beautiful? Let’s try and not to just judge people based on their looks.
Silvia Nunez: This show is called ‘The Look.’
Rochelle Koontz: Ah! [Video appears at the right bottom of the screen] Okay, next up, we have Eva Longoria rocking that pregnancy glow.
Angelo Dolphintuna: Okay. The hair. The make up. The jewelry. I wanna say all went to college?
Rochelle Koontz: Or even Harvard.
Dean Swizz: I hope her babies are girls so she can change the world more. Oh, wait. [listening to his earpiece] I’m hearing it’s a boy. Well, boo.
Rochelle Koontz, Dean Swizz and Angelo Dolphintuna: Boo.
Dean Swizz: We hate that, right Silvia?
Silvia Nunez: Why is that bad?
Dean Swizz: Maybe you’re right. Maybe he will be gay.
[Rochelle Koontz, Dean Swizz and Angelo Dolphintuna clap]
Rochelle Koontz: Well, before women were brave, this next segment was called ‘Puker Bar.’ But now it’s called ‘I respect her choice.’ Angelo, you’re up first with Debra Messing.
Angelo Dolphintuna: [Video appears at the right bottom of the screen] Okay. Normally, I would say something like, “This hoe look like she got dressed by friendly mice.” But because of Twitter, I’m gonna say, “I respect that bitch’s choice.”
Dean Swizz: Okay. Well, we are so excited for today’s special guest.
Rochelle Koontz: Yes. She’s an actress. But she also has opinions. Please welcome Frances McDormand.
[Frances McDormand joins]
Frances McDormand: Hello. Get that out of there. Get that our of there.
Rochelle Koontz: No, that’s your camera.
Frances McDormand: Oh. Sorry. So, why was I, you know, booked for this?
Rochelle Koontz: Because we want raw powerful females represented on this show. And I don’t count.
Dean Swizz: McD, I saw this movie you were in. Three Billboards. It went straight over my head. But I do know you’re a sassy lady.
Frances McDormand: Well, in [bleep], it was really a [bleep] and I feel so [bleep] to have played a character like [bleep].
Rochelle Koontz: Oops. Sorry. You know, I think we accidentally bleeped a lot of what you just said.
Frances McDormand: Okay. It happens. I’m not cursing. It’s just the tone of my voice.
Rochelle Koontz: Well, congratulations on your Golden Globe. Now, are you wearing the same dress from the award?
Frances McDormand: Yeah. This is the dress. It’s from a production in 92.
Rochelle Koontz: Wow, we love that. Women can do anything.
Frances McDormand: Can I punch you in the face?
Dean Swizz: Ha-ha-ha. There it is. Right, Silvia? You wouldn’t kick her out of your house.
Silvia Nunez: My house for battered women?
Dean Swizz: Wow. Stepped in it.
Rochelle Koontz: Alright. This has been ‘The Look’ on E, reminding you that women are powerful and strong. Stay tuned for all new episode of ‘Fat whores of Miami beach.’
