First Impression | Season 44 Episode 8

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Daughter/Melissa… Melissa Villaseñor

Michael… Beck Bennett

Mom… Heidi Gardner

Dad… Jason Momoa

[Starts with a decorated Christmas tree. Melissa is setting dining table for family dinner and she is talking to her boyfriend. He is going to meet her parents for the first time]

Melissa: You’re wearing your new shirt!

Michael: Yeah. Does it look okay?

Melissa: You look great, sweetie.

Michael: All right. I’m really nervous to meet your parents, you know? I don’t want to look stupid.

Melissa: Oh, they’re going to love you.

Michael: Okay. All right, [Cut to Michael and Melissa] I just really want to impress them.

Melissa: [Doorbell ringing] That’s them. [Melissa goes to open the door. Michael is preparing himself.] [Melissa opens the door]

Melissa: Hey!

Mom: Hey, sweetie!

Melissa: Hi, mom. [Melissa hugs her mom]

Dad: Come here. [Melissa hugs her dad]

Melissa: Hi. Mom, dad, this is Michael. [Cut to the hall and nobody is there] That’s weird. He was here just a second ago.

Dad: [Cut to dad] Well, we can’t wait to meet him.

Melissa: Michael! Honey? [Cut to everybody]

Michael: [In a child’s voice] I bet you can’t find me.

Melissa: What?

Mom: Was that him?

Dad: What did he say?

Michael: Come find me. I’m hiding. [Everybody is confused] Hee-hee-hee.

Melissa: Michael, stop it! Okay, come out here and meet my parents.

Michael: Hee-hee-hee. Where am I?

Mom: Honey, what’s going on?

Melissa: I think he’s just nervous. [Cut to everybody] He really wants to impress you.

Mom: Why would that impress us?

Dad: Does he hide a lot?

Melissa: No, he’s never done this before.

Michael: I bet you can’t find me!

Dad: [Cut to dad, he walks forward] Oh, I bet I can! [Cut to dad walks upstairs]

Melissa: Dad, what are you doing?

Dad: I’m going to find this guy.

Michael: You’re very cold.

Dad: Make it fair, give us a clue.

Michael: Don’t you want to see what I look like? Hee-hee-hee.

Dad: Son of a bitch. [Dad is excited] Yes! I got to find this guy if I want to see what he looks like. [Melissa and mom follow dad]

Michael: Follow the little gay elf. Hee-hee-hee! You’re not very good at finding.

Dad: [Dad enters a room] He’s in the closet! [Dad opens the closet] Where is this turd?

Melissa: Dad!

Michael: Haha. You’re getting warmer.

Dad: Oh, he’s under the bed! I got you now! [Throws away the bed. Melissa and Mom are scared] Damn it.

Michael: Not there. Hee-hee-hee.

Dad: It’s coming from the walls. [Dad listens close to the walls]

Mom: [Cut to Melissa and mom] He’s not in the walls! [Dad starts punching holes in the wall]

Melissa: Dad, what are you doing?

Dad: I’m trying to find the damn guy! Gotcha! [Pulls a doll hand out of the wall. The hand has a recorder from where Michael’s voice was playing]

Michael: I guess you don’t want to see what I look like! [Dad breaks the recorder]

Dad: You know I do!

Michael: Then follow my voice. Hee-hee-hee-hee.

Dad: Oh, I got you now. [Opens a door in a room. A pie falls on the ground from the door] Fooled again!

Michael: Sound like someone’s got pie in the face.

Melissa: [Cut to Melissa]No, they don’t.

Mom: [Cut to Mom] Honey, this is insane.

Dad: [Cut to dad] You’re right, this is too hard. Give us another clue.

Michael: Hee-hee-hee. You see, I might be where you watch TV.

Dad: In the TV! Oh, crap, I gave it away! [Dad rushes down the stairs] I got him!

Michael: [Cut to the TV cupboard. Michael is behind the Cupboard stuck. He is waving his hand out to call everyone] Help me! Help! I’m stuck! What tool you so long? Help me, I’m stuck!

Melissa: [Cut to Melissa and mom] Michael, where are your clothes?

Michael: I couldn’t fit [Cut to Michael] back here with that new shirt on! [Dad pulls out Michael. Michael has grease over his body]

Melissa: [Cut to Melissa] Did you grease your body?

Michael: Just my face [Cut to Michael panicking] and my chest. I couldn’t fit back there. This whole [Cut to Michael and dad] plan is not working at all.

Melissa: [[Cut to Melissa] What’s your plan?

Michael: [Cut to Michael] To look cool in front of your parents. [Cut to Dad looking at Michael] Look at what love made me do babe. [Cut to Michael] Please to meet you, Mr. Charles, Mrs. Charles. I hope my hiding thing wasn’t too stupid and I’m sorry if I ruined your clothes with my pie trap.

Mom: [Cut to mom and Melissa] You didn’t.

Michael: Crap. Look, [Cut to Michael] you just told me how great they were and I just really wanted to impress them. I didn’t want to be a loser. I didn’t want to be [quoting with his hands] “That guy”.

Dad: [Cut to dad. Quoting with his hands] “That guy”. I love that. I say that too. [Cut to Michael. He gets happy.] [Cut to Melissa and mom. Melissa is also happy] I like you for my Melissa. A lot.

Michael: [Cut to Michael] I do too, sir. Yes, thank you, sir. Very good, sir.

Dad: [Cut to dad. He removes his glasses to see Michael] Let me see how handsome you are. [Michael flexes his body] That’s very nice. Good. [Michael turns around] There. Very handsome. Very good. I don’t know, [Michael stretches] he looks good. I like that. Very, very good. Very handsome. Very nice.

Michael: Merry Christmas everyone.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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