William McTavish…..Adam Driver[ Fortnite Loading screen with loading bar filling in and theme music playing… ] [ Cut to Fortnite Map with a blimp flying towards the map. ]
DoomSnake: Let’s play some Fortnite squad. This is DoomSnake. [ Cut to DoomSnake in his room with headphones and game controller ] Who we got on the squad? FlowBoy, you got a mic?[ Cut to FlowBoy in his room with headphones and game controller. ]
FlowBoy: Yeah, what up? Let’s get that Victory Royale.
DoomSnake: Hell yeah! A’ight, who else is on the squad? Um, William McTavish, 1972. You there?[ Cut to William McTavish in his room with headphones and game controller. ]
William McTavish: Oh yeah, yes, hi there. This is William McTavish. FYI, never played this game before. My 11-year-old son Miles loves it, and I want to learn how to play so that Fortnite can be a fun bonding activity that we do together.[ Cut to DoomSnake. ]
Doomsnake: Dope. Well, it’s pretty easy, you just run around and try to kill the other squad. There’s like dances you can do and stuff; it’s fun.
William McTavish: Oh excellent. My son plays with his step-father, Rick. And I’d like to be better than Rick as soon as possible.[Cut to DoomSnake. ]
DoomSnake: Cool. Here we go.[ Cut to Fortnite gameplay. The three players, DoomSnake, FlowBoy, and William McTavish appear in video chat boxes on the left and their three Fortnite characters portrayed by other cast members to the right. The characters are standing in their idle position. There is a female with pink hair holding a gun, a blonde guy with a giant pickaxe, and a man with long black hair holding a large gun. ]
William McTavish: Okay which character am I controlling?[ The blonde guy holding a large pickaxe runs forward and squats. He reruns some more and squats. He looks from side to side. The other two characters continue to sway in their idle standing position. ]
DoomSnake: You’re the blonde guy.
William McTavish: Okay, I got it. I’m the blonde man.[ The blonde guy continues to squat and run in place. ] Oh, he looks very outdoorsy.
DoomSnake: Yeah, I guess. Alright, let’s loot up and go over to Tilted. And Mr. McTavish, holler if you need any help.[ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: I need help.[ Cut to Fortnite gameplay with 3 video chats along the side. The Blonde guy is running into a brick wall. ] What am I doing?
DoomSnake: You’re running at a wall.
FlowBoy: Hey! Turn around sir. Come over to us.[ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: Alright gentlemen, here I come.
DoomSnake: Sir, just so you know, you can walk forward dude.
William McTavish: Okay, one thing at a time boys.[ Cut to William McTavish. ] Okay, what do I do now? [Cut to DoomSnake. ]
DoomSnake: Step 1, like, stop doing that.[ Cut to Fortnite gameplay with 3 video chats along the side. The blonde guy is running into the man with long black hair. The man with long black hair and the girl with pink hair continue to stand idle. ]
William McTavish: Well, there’s somebody directly in front of me.
FlowBoy: Yeah, that’s me.[ Cut to DoomSnake. ]
DoomSnake: Yeah instead of that, go over to that loot chest and open it up. There’s guns inside.[ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: Hold on there are guns in this game?! My ex-wife and Rick should have asked me before letting Miles play this, right?[ Cut to DoomSnake ]
DoomSnake: I don’t know. Sir, I’m only 15. I shouldn’t be weighing in on your marital situation. But, uh, maybe open up that loot chest.[ Cut to William McTavish ]
William McTavish: All right, got it.
DoomSnake: No you’re jumping! Push Y!
William McTavish: Oh okay, I got it now.
FlowBoy: No you don’t Mr McTavish. Look at your guy. [The blonde guy starts running in a circle. ] He’s running in a tight circle. Just push Y![ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: Okay hold on. Let me just figure it out. Okay, there, there. Got it.
FlowBoy: No! You’re back at the wall again. Why you like the wall so much?[ Cut to DoomSnake. ]
DoomSnake: Sir, just go over to the chest and press the Y button on your controller. Please![ Cut to William McTavish ]
William McTavish: Okay, one moment. I did it! I have a firearm.[ Cut to DoomSnake.]
DoomSnake: Good, cause I see another squad heading our way right now.[ Cut to FlowBoy. ]
FlowBoy: Yo, Mr. McTavish, when they roll up just aim and shoot.[ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: Alright, let’s do it. Let’s get a Fortnite.[ Cut to Fortnite gameplay with the 3 video chats along the side. The blonde guy starts dancing by shaking his hips back and forth and moving his arms, like the Twist and the other 2 characters continue to stand idle. William McTavish lets out a laugh. ]
William McTavish: What’s my guy doing?
DoomSnake: That’s an emote. It’s one of those dances you can do. But now is not the time.[ The blonde guy continues to dance but with more gusto. ]
William McTavish: Oh, that’s a riot. Look at that!
FlowBoy: Yo, they’re here. Stop dancing.[ 2 more fortnite characters portrayed by other cast members enter the gameplay. They act like they are shooting the other 2 characters who now defend themselves. The blonde guy continues to dance in the foreground. ]
DoomSnake: Mr. McTavish, help us, dude. Shoot those guys!
William McTavish: My guy’s a good dancer.[ The blonde guy continues dancing. The 2 new characters kill DoomSnake’s and FlowBoy’s characters, and they fall to the ground. ]
DoomSnake: Oh, damn it, dude![ Cut to FlowBoy. ]
FlowBoy: And we’re all dead. Alright. We didn’t even get one kill.
DoomSnake: We can’t go out like that. You guys wanna squad up and play again?[ Cut to William McTavish. ]
William McTavish: Ah, alright. One quick game. But then I got to get back to rehab. So let’s go, squad![ Cut to Fortnite loading screen which then appears to be what the television screen looks like when it is shut off. ]