Summer Childs… Jessica Chastain
Ray Chadman… Alex Moffat
Debbie… Leslie Jones
Bert… Mikey Day
Luke Null
Heidi Gardner
Kenan Thompson
Ben… Beck Bennett
[Starts with Google Talks video bumper]
Summer: Hello and welcome to another Google Talks. [Cut to Google headquarter. There are many people sitting. Summer is standing as she is speaking] Streaming live across the globe from Google HQ in California. I’m your host Summer Childs. [singing and dancing] Let’s give them something to Google talk about. Ha-ha-ha. Sorry. Today’s topic is bullying which I’ll be discussing with the students at our audience and our guest Berkley Sociology professor, Ray Chadman.
Professor: Pleasure to be here.
[Summer takes a seat]
Summer: Now, we asked each member of our audience to write down something they’ve been bullied for. Which our stage manager Debbie is handing me. Thanks Debbie. 14 people said religion. Nine people answered race or ethnicity. Five people said sexual orientation. And one person said Looking like Bart Simpson.
[There is a guy behind Professor whose hair is exactly like Bart Simpson. Yellow and spiky.]
Professor: Yeah. And unfortunately somewhere four out of five of those answers are extremely common. With the rise of social media, attacking others has never been easier. And the most common form of course being simple name calling
Summer: Um, I can relate. People called me nerd before I got like, pretty. Students, save space. What are some of the names that you or someone close to you has been called?
Heidi: Um, white trash.
Luke: Cock!
Mikey: Bart Simpson.
Cecily: Bitch.
Mikey: Real life Bart Simpson.
Melissa: It’s not a name but people like to say, “Go back to your own country.”
Mikey: Yeah. Or people like to say, “Go back to Springfield.” So ignorant.
Kenan: [to Mikey] That might just be you, dude!
Kyle: Hey, you guys feel like trying isn’t cool? Like, if you put effort into something, people are so ready to make fun of you for it?
All: Yes.
Mikey: You guys ever like, say something funny in a group setting and people laugh. But then you hear, “Haa-haa.” And you’re like, “Is that just how someone laughs or did they just do a Nelson from The Simpsons laugh to mess with me?”
Cecily: Again, man. That might just be you.
Mikey: Oh, okay.
Summer: I love how woke it is in here right now. But it’s not just us having this discussion. Everyone streaming this can tweet their questions and comments with the #GoogleTalk2018TopicBullying. Sorry, it’s so long. That’s my bad. Let’s throw it over to Ben at the tweet deck.
[Cut to Ben]
Ben: Thanks Summer. It has been pretty busy over here at my standing desk. We’s got a lots of tweets coming in. This tweet has already 250 likes.
[Cut to a picture meme with Bart Simpson and Mikey’s pictures joined together. There’s written “Ay, Caramba!”]
[Cut to Summer]
Summer: So, I don’t speak Spanish but it’s cool that our woke discussion resonates with a lot in community.
Professor: Ha-ha. Let’s just hope the president doesn’t tweet anything at us.
[Everyone laughing]
[Someone does Nelson from Simpson’s “Haa-haa” laughter. Mikey is looking around to find out who.]
Summer: Well, professor, we had our audience write down some questions for you. These are all anonymous, of course. Our first question. If you notice someone laughing at someone, what should you do?
Professor: Um, that’s easy. Tell them to stop in an assertive yet non-violent way.
Cecily: Excuse me, ma’am. Please stop.
[Cut to Debbie who is laughing hard.]
Debbie: Ha-ha-ha-ha. I can’t. I can’t. He got the red shirt on. Like… I gotta leave. I gotta leave.
[Debbie walks out]
[Cut to Summer]
Summer: Oh, I’m so sorry about that, Bart. Oops! I’m so sorry I called you Bart. What’s your name?
Mikey: Oh, my name is Bert Samson.
Kenan: Your name is Bert Samson? I’m sorry.
Pete: Hey, you don’t have a cow, man.
Summer: Alright, guys. Let’s check in with Ben at the tweet deck.
[Cut to Ben]
Ben: Hey, Summer. Cool news over here at my chairless work area. We have a caller in our Google Talk line who has a question for professor Chadman.
[Cut to Summer]
Summer: Alright, caller, you’re on with professor Chadman. What’s your question, Maggie?
[the caller is making noises like Maggie from Simpson]
Professor: Maggie, you there? Oh, I think I get it. That’s funny.
Summer: Well, we need to show you a series of 25 second ads. We’ll be right back with woke discussion after this. [singing and dancing] Let’s Google Talk about sex baby. Sorry, that was dumb.
