Trese Henderson (Singer)…..Kenan Thompson
Jenks (Electric Piccolo)…..Seth Meyers
Brad Dates (Keyboardist)…..Kyle Mooney
Audience 1…..Chris Redd
Audience 2…..Leslie Jones[ Image of the outside of a Residence Inn Marriott. ] [ Cut to the inside of presentation room inside the hotel. There is a band on stage, one man is playing the keyboard, another is playing the flute, and the third is in the middle singing on the microphone. There are pumpkins decorating the set. ]
Trese: [ Music is playing. ] Yes, I will ignore. Yes, thank you very much. Hello, Kingston residents in the Marriott. Once again I am Trese Henderson, and this is the Trese Henderson Trio. We are moments away from announcing the winners of the adult Halloween Costume Contest. [ Cut to the audience of the band sitting at three tables in costumes. ] For adults only. [ Cut back to the band. ] But first, let’s get back to the show! [ The band starts to play music, again. ] Tweedle-de-dee Tweedle-de-snatch Tweedle-de-snacks inside the pumpkin. [ Intense short piccolo solo. Music ends. ] Ladies and gentlemen, I could not stand up here in front of you tonight without the amazing little babies you see behind me. Brad Dates on keyboard.
Brad: 100% Tres! [ Short keyboard solo. ]
Trese: I told you! And our newest edition Mr. Jenks on the electric piccolo.
Jenks: Watch me fly, Trese! [ Short piccolo solo. The piccolo zaps him. ] Ooh, ooh, ooooooh! I got a little shock.
Trese: From the electricity in your piccolo?
Jenks: That would be my guess, Trese.
Trese: Wow! Well this week went from bad to worst for you, didn’t it?
Jenks: Oh I’m fine.
Trese: You were sad in the car.
Jenks: I was quiet.
Trese: I think you were sad. Is is about that thing?
Jenks: I don’t want to talk about it here.
Trese: The thing, that the doctor said he thought you had.
Brad: That’s personal, Trese.
Jenks: Seriously, you don’t need to worry about it.
Trese: Well, as your roommate, I think I do. Because we use the same washcloths.
Jenks: Drop it!
[ The band begins to play music, again. ]
Trese: Tweedle-de-dee. Tweedle-de-pop. Tweedle-de-candle inside the pumpkin top. [ The music ends. ] Alright, how is everybody feeling tonight?[ Cut to the two audience members sitting at the center table up front. ]
Audience 2: Confused. What’s going on with your piccolo player.
Audience 1: Yeah, we have some theories on what’s going on. I think he has athlete’s foot.
Audience 2: I think he got panty crickets.[ Cut back to the band on stage. ]
Trese: Did you hear that Jenk’s? We are all wondering if you have panty crickets? People care. Open up.
Jenks: Let’s just do the gig, and not worry the people.
Brad: Respect his boundaries, Trese.
Trese: I am just trying to help. My intentions are pure.
[ The band begins to play, again. ]
Trese: Tweedle-de-north. Tweedle-de-south. What did the pumpkin say out his Halloween mouth? [ The music ends. His phone rings. ] Oh, I’m getting a phone call. [He answers his cell phone. ] Kingston medical? Yes, hello. Yes, this is Trese. Yes, I’m with him right now. Jenks, it’s your doctor.
Jenks: Well, you’re my emergency contact.
Trese: Aww, that’s sweet.
Jenks: Can I talk to them?
Trese: Well, who’s stopping ya?
Jenks: Okay, so I do have it. How’d I get it? But, I never touched one of those. Oh, I did lick it. Of course, I have clothes. Get rid of them? What about my roommates clothes? So we need to rid of his, as well?
Trese: Even my Gucci shoes?! Ask the doctor if shoes are clothes.
Jenks: He said everything.
Trese: Not my Gucci shoes! But does he know that the shoes are Gucci?
Jenks: He heard you, and he said, ‘yes.’
Trese: Oh my Gucci shoes! I have to throw them away because of your panty crickets?
Jenks: I’m so sorry Trese. I know how much you love your Gucci shoes.
Trese: Yes Jenks. They were my friends. Tell that to my Gucci shoe.
[ The music begins again. ]
Trese: Tweedle-de-dee. Tweedle-de-twop. Tweedle-de-pumpkin from the tree top! [ The music ends. ]