Rudolph’s Big Night | Season 44 Episode 8

Red-Nosed Reindeer… Pete Davidson

Cupid… Mikey Day

… Chris Redd.

Donner… Alex Moffat

Blitzen… Kyle Mooney

Comet… Beck Bennett

Don… Kenan Thompson

[Starts with a house on a Christmas day]

Cupid: Alright, fellas, [Cut to a room full of reindeers] its Christmas eve and I am ready to fly! Who’s with me?

Everobody: Yeah!

Chris Redd: Hey, why is Rudolph cheering?

Rudolph: [Cut to Rudolph. He has a red glowing nose] Well, I guess I thought there was a chance, you know,  I’d be on the team this year.

[Cut to everybody. Everyone laughs at Rudolph]

Donner: Yeah, keep dreaming neon nose!

Rudolph: Yeah, the last thing we need up there is a stoplight!

Comet: [Cut to Beck] Or a maraschino cherry.

Santa: [Santa walks in shaking his belly] Ho, ho, ho! Huddle up. I just wanted to say about the weather report and I’m sorry but it’s too overcast to fly. Christmas is canceled.

Everybody: [Cut to everybody] Oh, no! No!

Santa: Wait! [Cut to Rudolph and Santa] Rudolph—your nose. You can guide us with your wonderful light! How about it, Rudolph?

Rudolph:  You mean it Santa?

Santa: Oh, you bet I do. I’m appointing you lead reindeer! Christmas is saved! Let’s hear it for Rudolph!

Everybody: [Cut to Everybody. Everybody is cheering for Rudolph] Hip, hip, hooray!

Santa:  Thanks, Santa. I won’t let you down. [Santa leaves the room] [Cut to Rudolph. He walks in the group] Well, well, well—

Donner: [Alex giving his hand to shake to Rudolph] Congrats–

Rudolph: Oh, you can put that away, [pushing away his hand] Donner, or whatever your bitch ass name is.

Donner: Rudolph–

Rudolph: Oh, it’s Rudolph now! I thought it was Neon Nose. Classic.

Blitzen: Rudolph–

Rudolph: Oh, what’s up, Blitzen? What did you call my nose? A stoplight. I like that, making fun of someone else when you’re married to a moose.

Blitzen:  She’s an Elk.

Rudolph: She’s a straight up moose. You need to know that. What’s up, Don?

Don: What’s up?

Rudolph: Santa hates you.

Don: Harsh.

[Cut to everybody]

Cupid: Rudolph, we understand you’re sore at us but it was just a bit of healthy ribbing.

Rudolph: [Cut to Rudolph and Cupid] No, you shut up your mouth, Cupid. Alright? No one’s talking to you. You want healthy ribbing? Your wife dropped that donk on my last night!

Cupid: You’re making that up.

Rudolph: Nope, we did it in front of the mirror. Yeah, she’s one of those!

Cupid: Oh my god, I’ll knock that nose right off your face! [Cut to everybody]

Don: Come on, Rudolph man, we’re sorry.

Rudolph: Yeah, I know you’re sorry now because I’ll be flying out in front tonight and I’m eating a lot of broccoli. What’s your problem world?

Cupid: Hey! I’m gonna tell Santa how you’re behaving.

Rudolph: Oh, yeah? Let’s get him in here! [Rudolph starts hitting himself on his head and starts acting victim] Oh, ouch, why would you hit me? I’m smaller than you!

Santa: [Santa walks in] Cupid! Are you still bullying on Rudolph?

Cupid: [Cut to Everybody] No, sir, I didn’t touch him!

Rudolph: It’s not their fault sir. I’m the new guy. I deserve a little hazing.

Santa: [Cut to Santa] Rudolph, you’re the strongest reindeer I’ve ever seen. [Cut to Rudolph smiling happily] You’re skating on thin ice Cupid.

Cupid: [Cut to Rudolph and Cupid] Man.

Rudplph: Whoops!

Don:Yo, you’re crazy man! [Cut to everybody]

Rudolph: Anyone else want to bully Rudolph?

Comet: No, man, we’re so sorry.

Rudolph: Oh, well, if it isn’t Mr. Maraschino Cherry Joke.

Comet: [Cut to Comet and Rudolph] I don’t want any trouble man.

Rudolph: Oh, I heard a lot of jokes about my nose. That was a good one. You like Maraschino Cherries, bro?

Comet: Yeah.

Rudolph: You like that way they taste, bro?

Comet: Yeah.

Rudolph: Why don’t you suck on one?

Comet: Excuse me?

Rudolph: Suck on it homey. Suck on the cherry in front of your face!

Comet: Rudolph, please!

Everybody: [Cut to everybody] Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Oh! Oh! [Cut to Comet and Rudolph. Comet starts sucking on Rudolph’s nose]

Santa: [Cut to Santa walking in] Oh my goodness!

Rudolph: [Cut to Comet and Rudolph. As Rudolph sees Santa he starts acting victim] Ouch, he bit me. I think he’s rabid.

Santa: [Cut to Santa] Oh, I always knew this day would come. [Santa takes his gun out]

Comet: [Cut to Comet] No, no. I swear he’s lying! He told me to suck it.

Santa: [Santa is pointing the gun towards Comet] Come with me, Comet.

Comet: Sir, you don’t understand. [Cut to everybody] He’s evil. Isn’t anybody going to say anything?

Rudolph: Yeah, isn’t anyone going to say anything?

Santa: I’m sorry, pal. Ho, ho, ho. [Santa takes Comet out]

Chris Redd: He’s not going to do that. [Sound of gunshot. Everybody is terrified except Rudolph.] Rudolph, you are a master.

Rudolph: No, really though, those were some funny jokes. Hilarious.

Santa: All right, [Cut to Santa walking in] show’s over. It’s Christmas folks. Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Rudolph: [Cut to everybody. Rudolph is dancing] Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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