[There’s a place full of RV vans]
Dad: Honey, I just heard [Cut to husband and wife inside an RV van] the kids pull up.
Mom: Oh, my babies!
Dad: Hey, there they are! [Kids open the door and dad welcomes them in] You found us!
Daughter: Dad. Mom.
Dad: How are you?
Son: Good to see you. [Kids are getting in very uncomfortably] How are you?
Daughter: Wow, mom and dad. [dad and mom sit on the seat while the kids stay standing]
Son: Wow, you weren’t kidding. [Cut to the kids looking around] This is definitely an RV.
Daughter: Yeah, yeah. They’re all so similar, we found you by your license plate, ex-banker.
Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] Yeah, ex-banker. Ex-interior designer.
Dad: Current RVers. It’s hard to believe.
Mom: Yeah, it’s pretty cool.
Dad: Six months ago, I came home, and I told your mom, I don’t want to work anymore and she said okay.
Son: [Cut to the kids] You were cool with that, mom?
Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies with squeaky voice] Oh, yeah, I love it.
Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Really?
Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies with more squeaky voice] Yeah. Yeah.
Dad: You know, it’s so freeing to purge your possessions. You know, it just feels great.
Mom: [Mom talking in squeaky voice] Yeah. Oh, yeah. I- I- I love it.
Dad: She loves it. She loves it so much I almost so much I forget whose idea it was.
Mom: It was yours.
Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Yeah, dad. You really look like you’re in your element.
Dad: [Cut to dad and mom] Oh, I sure am. Today I jogged butt naked around the lake: just socks and crocs, real man stuff.
Son: [Cut to the kids] And you’re having fun, mom?
Mom: : [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies looking the other way] Oh, sure. Yes. I love it.
Son: Mom, can- can you [Cut to the kids] look at us when you say that?
Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies facing the kids but closing her eyes] I love it.
Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Okay. Can you open your eyes when you say it?
Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies opening her eyes and staring at the ceiling] I love it. I just love sitting back here.
Daughter: Oh, you don’t sit up front?
Dad: No, no, no. [Cut to the kids looking around being confused] That’s where lady gray sits.
Son: [Cut to dad and mom] Who is lady gray?
Dad: Well, the love of our life. Our great dane, lady gray. [Cut to everybody in the RV van] [Dad opens the door, and the dog comes in] Lady gray, come on in here! Come on in here lady gray!
Mom: That’s a good girl. Yeah.
Dad: Lady gray sits up front because she gets carsick back here.
Mom: I get carsick too, but I love it. [Cut to dad and mom] Come here, lady gray! [Cut to everybody in the RV van] [Mom goes up to the dog to play with her] Hi, girl. Hi! Did you know a dog can punch you? [Cut to dad and mom]
Son: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] Where does the dog sleep?
Dad: Oh, your mom’s bed.
Mom: Yeah, and I sleep here. [Cut to mom, leaning on the table to show how she sleeps]
Daughter: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] I’m sorry, where did you get a great dane?
Dad: Well, from our new RV friend, Jibs. [Jibs opens the door and comes inside]
Jibs: I’m coming. You called me?
Mom: Well, we said your name, so yeah.
Dad: Yeah, Jibs here showed us how to work the dump station.
Jibs: Let’s just say I’m well versed. I showed my little robin egg here how to take the upper hose from the RV dump tank to the vice clamp and the community receptor tank.
Dad: Yes, well, your mom does that stuff. She likes it. It’s the only thing I really don’t like.
Son: I don’t think mom likes any of this.
Daughter: Yeah, mom, you hate dogs.
Mom: I love it. [Cut to mom caressing the dog]
Daughter: I don’t think you do.
Dad: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] Oh, she does love it, right honey?
Mom: Yeah, I love it! I love it!
Dad: [Cut to mom and dad] Honey look at me in the face. Honey–
Mom: [mom nodding her head here and there] I love it.
Dad: Look, look at me in the– look at me in the eyes.
Mom: [Mom looks dad in his eyes] This is hell! You’re awful! And I hate it! I couldn’t hate it more. It’s horrible. It’s horrible!
Dad: What are you trying to say?
Mom: I don’t love any of it.
Jibs: [Jibs comes in the middle of dad and mom] Is this a bad time to tell you all lady gray is pregnant.