Mr. Science… Sam Rockwell
Lony… Cecily Strong
Josh… Mikey Day
[Starts with PBS Kids show schedule]
Female voice: You’re watching PBS Kids. At twelve, it’s ‘Math Bus’, followed by ‘Grammar Bus.’ But first, a classic 1996 episode of ‘The Science Room with Mr. Science.’
[Cut to The Science Room video bumper]
[Cut to Mr. Science in his science lab. He is looking at a skeleton.]
Mr. Science: What a bone head. Hey, junior scientists. Today in the science room, we’re discussing a very important matter. Matter. [Mr. Science walks to Lony and Josh] And helping me today are two student scientists, Lony and Josh. How are you guys doing today?
Josh: Kind of nervous.
Lony: Nervous.
Mr. Science: Well, don’t be nervous. Besides, it’s fun, right? High-five. [Mr. Science gives his hand to Josh but Josh doesn’t high-five him back] Okay. These guys are gonna help with some experiments involving matter. And there are three phases of matter. Liquid, [holds a glass of water] like this water. Solid like this table. Lony, you know the third one?
Lony: Um, water?
Mr. Science: No. Josh?
Josh: Um.
Mr. Science: Liquid? Josh?
Josh: The table.
Mr. Science: No. Remember, the table is solid. Here’s a hint. Sometimes you can’t even see it.
Lony: Behind me?
Mr. Science: No. Last guess. Josh?
Josh: Science?
Mr. Science: It’s gas. It’s gad.
Lony: Oh, yes. Gas.
Mr. Science: Our first experiment is easy to do at home. All you need is some vegetable oil. [Lony and Josh try to hold the vegetable oil bottle that’s on the table] Don’t do that. A glass of water. [Lony and Josh try to hold the glass of water that’s on the table] No need. What are you doing? And some… [Lony and Josh try to hold the food color that’s on the table] Okay. Stop. And some food coloring. Some food coloring to put in the water. Lony, Josh, what do you think will happen when I pour the oil into the water?
Lony: It will explode.
Mr. Science: What? No. Josh?
Josh: Um, nothing.
Mr. Science: Well, something has to happen. Oil is less dense than water. So, do you think it will sink or float?
Josh: The water or the oil?
Mr. Science: Oil.
Josh: Oh, then the water?
Lony: Oh, I think it’s the oil.
Mr. Science: Let’s just do the experiment. Helpers, remind the kids at home what the science room’s number one rule is.
Lony: Um, oh, don’t like– don’t let touch me under my clothes.
Mr. Science: What? No. No. I mean, yeah, of course that’s the rule. But that’s not the main rule. The answers have fun. That was really upsetting. Okay, come on. Get close and look here. [Lony and Josh get too close to the glass] Too close. Too close. Too close. [Lony and Josh move back] Now, I’m gonna pour the oil–
Lony: No, it’s gonna explode.
[Lony and Josh hide under the table]
Mr. Science: No. It’s not going to explode. Come back, guys. Not gonna explode. Here comes the oil. [Mr. Science puts the oil in the water] Okay, now, watch the oil.
[Josh picks the bottle of oil and looks at it]
No, not that oil, Josh. I just poured the oil into the water. The oil is–
Josh: False.
Mr. Science: This isn’t a true or false, Josh.
Lony: True.
Mr. Science: You can’t be this… stupid. I’m sorry. No. Kids aren’t stupid. Just say what you see, okay? Say what you see.
Lony: What you see.
Mr. Science: Come on. Are you kidding me? Just look at it. The oil went down into the water. Then it went back to the–
Josh: Future?
Mr. Science: No. It floated back–
Josh: To the future part two?
Mr. Science: No. I’m pointing to it. Where is it? And do not say back to the future part three. The oil went back–
Lony: To the future part three?
Mr. Science: [yelling] To the top. [Mr. Science throws the glass away angrily] The top. I wish it would explode so I get you– you guys– explode your faces until you work it out with me. [calmly] Okay, we’re gonna take a short break so I can calm down, and we’ll be right back.
Josh: To the future.
[Mr. Science punches Josh down]
