Steve Carell Returns to SNL Monologue

Audience….Kenan Thompson, Ellie Kemper, Ed Helms, Jenna Fisher, Nancy Carell (wife), Annie Carell (daughter), Johnny  Carell (son)

[Band playing music on the stage.]

Darrel Hammond (Announcer): Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Carell.

[Steve walks to the stage][Applause and cheers]

Steve: Hi, thank you very much. Thank you. Hello, I am so excited to be here tonight. It is my third time hosting “SNL” and thank you. It’s been a while. It’s been 10 years, and I have been pretty busy doing movies. I actually have one coming out really soon.

Woman from the audience: Steve, [Cut to a woman from the audience standing and asking question] hey, can I ask a question?

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Yeah, okay. Guess we’re doing questions. Sure.

Woman from the audience: [Cut to the woman from the audience] First of all, big fan. I love all of your movies.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Oh, thank you.

Woman from the audience: [Cut to the woman from the audience] My question is, will you ever reboot “The Office”?

Steve: [Cut to Steve] No, actually, I don’t think so. It was a great experience. I love all of those people, but I just don’t think it’s the best idea. I think maybe we should just leave it alone. Okay. Next question. [Cut to the audience. Kenan also from the audience smiling and raising his hand to ask the question] Oh, yeah.

Kenan: Hey, Steve.

Steve: Hey. Are you [Cut to Kenan, nodding his head] Kenan or are you playing a fake audience member?

Kenan: I am Kenan. Believe me, dude, if I was acting, you would know it. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I also think you should reboot “The Office.”

Steve: Thanks, Okay. You know what, it would be like if someone wanted you to reboot “Kenan and Kel.” Right? [Cut to Kenan thinking]

Kenan: That would be an honor. [Cheers and applause]

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Fine. No, I get that. Just I don’t think it would be as good this time around. But thank you for that. Next question.

Ellie: [Cut to Ellie talking from the audience] Yes, hi Steve.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Oh, Hi! Ellie Kemper. [Cut to Ellie] Wow, Hi!

Ellie: Hi. People would really love to see an “Office” reboot. Yes. Especially me. I need that money. Let’s get that money, Steve!

Steve: [Cut to Steve] I’m sorry, Ellie, I just don’t think it’s a good idea.

Ellie: [Cut to Ellie] You’re a jerk. [Ellie sits down]

Steve: Okay.

Ed: [Cut to Ed in the audience] Hey, Steve.

Steve: Hey, Ed Helms. Hi. Wow! Ed Helms.

Ed: It’s so great to see you.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] It’s great to see you too.

Ed: [Cut to Ed] Yes, so, I just don’t think you understand just how much money we’re talking about. Like, you wouldn’t have to do all of those sad movies anymore.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] I don’t do those movies for money, I like doing them.

Woman from the audience: [Cut to the woman from the audience] Yeah, but you could all make some serious money.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Okay. You’re an audience member; this isn’t about you. And Ed, why don’t we just have a party instead? We can all catch up, get together. NO cameras, just friends?

Ed: [Cut to Ed] Oh we already do that. We just don’t invite you.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Okay. Wow, all right. Thanks, man.

Jenna: Steve. [Cut to Jenna in the audience]

Steve: Jenna!

Jenna: Steve, do you remember the last words that Pam secretly whispered to Michael as she left for Denver?

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Not really.

Jenna: [Cut to Jenna] Okay. She said, “Steve, don’t be a dick, do the Reboot.”

Steve: [Cut to Steve] I don’t remember that at all.

Jenna: [Cut to Jenna] Well I do. Don’t you want to see what Pam and Jeff are up to these days?

Steve: [Cut to Steve] It’s Pam and Jim.

Jenna: [Cut to Jenna] Who cares? Why are you getting hung up on the details? Let’s just do the damn thing.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] No, Jenna, please I just don’t want—

Nancy: Honey, [Steve is searching for the speaker] [Cut to Nancy] honey.

Steve: Oh, it’s my wife, Nancy, and my kids. [Cut to Steve] Hi, guy! [Cut to Annie and Johnny and Nancy] Annie and Johnny and Nancy, say hi.

Nancy: Hi. We think you should probably do the show.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Honey, I just don’t want to spend that much time away from you guys.

Nancy: [Cut to Annie and Johnny and Nancy] Well, we don’t really need you to hand around anymore, right, kids? We’re good.

Steve: Are you serious? [Cut to Steve]

Nancy: [Cut to Annie and Johnny and Nancy] Yeah, we’re fine. No problem. Hey, you guys want to go? Let’s go.

Steve: [Cut to Steve] Where are you– Are you not even going to watch the show?

Nancy: No, see you later.

Steve: Okay, all right. Well, thanks. Feels like everybody wants this to happen. Do you guys want to see an “Office” Reboot? Is that what’s–

[Crowd cheering “Yes”]

Come on up on stage. [SNL members coming up on the stage] All right. No, no, not you. You’re not a part of this. All right, I’m proud to announce officially that we have a great show Tonight! Ella Mai is here. Stick around, and we’ll be right back!

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