…..Chris Redd
…..Pete Davidson
Mr. Bro Sir…..Beck Bennett
Doctor…..Alex Moffat
[ Scene opens with a sign that says, ‘Help the Trees.’ The camera pans to Chris Redd and Pete Davidson standing with two other men; they are dressed like Hip Hop performers. ]
CHRIS REDD: Hey excuse me, Mr. Bro Sir.
[ Mr. Bro Sir approaches the men on the street. ] You have time to talk about the environment?
PETE DAVIDSON: Trees!
CHRIS REDD: Climate change!
Mr. Bro Sir: Oh, no.
[ Chris takes off his sunglasses. ]
CHRIS REDD: What you mean ‘no’?
Mr. Bro Sir: I just don’t believe in that garbage.
CHRIS REDD: Yo, bag this fool, man. Get the car. [ One of the other men with Chris and Pete put a black bag over Mr. Bro Sir’s head. Yeah, let’s get him in the car. [ The men push Mr. Bro Sir into their car.
[ Cut to Chris and Pete’s music video with the tite: “Trees” on the screen. Chris and Pete aren’t wearing shirts and their bouncing around while rapping. They are in a forest setting dancing around large Oak trees. ]
Chris & Pete: Trees. Bitch I be loving these trees. Loving these trees. Trees. Bitch I be loving these trees. Loving these trees.
Chris: Make that seed work. Right in the dirt. Make you a tree. Ay. Ay. I planted all of these trees. That’s a whole lot of oxygen. Breathe!
Pete: Y’all know me. Puffin’ that OG. Young VIPs. Can’t get a job, cause I smoke too much weed. But you’re full of THC okay.
[ Chris stops the video to interrupt Pete’s flow. They are standing in front of a large tree. ]
CHRIS REDD: Okay, hey, hey, yeah. Pete, you talking about the wrong trees, fam.
PETE DAVIDSON: Hm?
CHRIS REDD: Yeah, uh. We talking about, like, environmental trees. Like, the planet.
PETE DAVIDSON: Oh. Okay, cool.
CHRIS REDD: Yeah, focus on words towards that.
PETE DAVIDSON: Alright.
CHRIS REDD: You know what I’m saying. Yeah. So, whenever you want to do that.
PETE DAVIDSON: Well, give me a second.
CHRIS REDD: Alright.
PETE DAVIDSON: I worked really hard on the other verse.
CHRIS REDD: Create, my dude.
PETE DAVIDSON: I thought this was a weed song.
CHRIS REDD: Create.
PETE DAVIDSON: Why are you so dressed up anyway? We’re playing ourselves.
CHRIS REDD: I like character work.
PETE DAVIDSON: Okay, how about something like, uh…I put my green thumb in a brown hole.
CHRIS REDD: Oh alright, I don’t know which hole, but I like..
PETE DAVIDSON: Something, something about clean coal.
[ The musics tarts again and they continue to rap. ]
Chris: Let’s go!
[ Cut to a poker game in a shed. Multiple photos of Al Gore are shown. ]
Pete: Just tryin’ to change the world like Al Gore. Almost President, Al Gore. Just tryin’ to change the world like Al Gore. Should’ve been President Al Gore. [ Cut to Pete and Chris standing in front of a tree with Al Gore’s face carved in it. ] Al Gore, Al Gore, Al Gore, Al Gorrrrre. Now is not a word anymore.
Chris: Yeah, my ni-[ bleep]-ga Pete.
Pete: Oh yeah and I love the Trees.
[ Cut back to Chris and Pete dancing around trees. This time there is also a man in a tree costume dancing with them. ]
Chris & Pete: Trees. Bitch I be lovin these trees. Lovin these trees. Trees. Bitch I was born in a tree, right under a tree.
Chris: Plant them in a hole. Water them. Wait for a minute. Wait a couple days and water them again. Go to sleep, wake up. Mmmm, nothing! God damn, trees take a long time. Water them, read a magazine, and I still got nothing. Do I got bad dirt? Huh? I don’t know! Somebody tell me.
[ Music stops. Cut to Chris and Pete dragging Mr. Bro Sir into a Dr.’s office. ]
CHRIS REDD: Hey, yo, tree doctor! Tell this man, climate change is real.
[ Chris throws Mr. Bro Sir to the ground in front of an approaching doctor. Mr. Bro Sir makes a grunting noise. ]
PETE DAVIDSON: Yeah!
Doctor: Guys, again, I am a medical doctor.
CHRIS REDD: Good for you.
Doctor: You can’t keep kidnapping people and bringing them here while I’m trying to save lives.
[ Chris pulls out a stack of fliers and hands them to the doctor. ]
CHRIS REDD: Yo, what you need to be doing, is saving these trees, homie. Alright, you can take all of them.
PETE DAVIDSON: Spread that word, yo.
Doctor: So many fliers. Look fellas, I get it and I agree. But this is the trauma center.
PETE DAVIDSON: Word.
Doctor: So you’re saying all this in the wrong place.
PETE DAVIDSON: So, y’all don’t have any trees.
Doctor: Not to mention, that the changes that we need to make include a lot more than trees.
CHRIS REDD: Oh damn.
Doctor: It’s increasing electric car use.
PETE DAVIDSON: Be quiet.
CHRIS REDD: Shhh.
Doctor: Buying locally sourced foods.
PETE DAVIDSON: Postmates.
CHRIS REDD: Everyday.
Doctor: Taking planes less, and trains and cars, more.
PETE DAVIDSON: Like John Candy.
CHRIS REDD: Uncle Buck.
Doctor: And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
CHRIS REDD: Word, word, word, word, just the tip. Got it. Yeah, but you can agree that more trees isn’t a bad thing. Right?
PETE DAVIDSON: Right?
CHRIS REDD: Right?
PETE DAVIDSON: Right?
CHRIS REDD: Right tho?
Doctor: [ Sighs. ]
PETE DAVIDSON: Right?
CHRIS REDD: Right?
Doctor: I mean, shore.
Chris & Pete: Dope!
[ Cut back to the music video, “Trees”. Chris and Pete are rapping in the hallway fo the doctor’s office and club lights turn on. The doctors are freak dancing on the other side of the hallway. ]
Chris & Pete: Trees! Yo, you know we be lovin’ our trees. Lovin’ our trees. Trees! Trees with the branches and leaves. Branches and leaves. [ Pete pops a champagne bottle and sprays the champagne in the hallway with Chris and the doctors dancing behind him. ] MAke that seed work. Right in the dirt. Make you a tree.
[ Cut to Chris and Pete dancing with a large tree bending side to side between them. ]
Chris: Ay, ay. I planted all of these trees. That’s a whole lot of oxygen, breathe.
Pete: Al Gore, Al Gore, Al Gore.
[ Cut to Chris and Pete holding their hands around a flower that is blooming. The sunflower blooms to reveal an image of Al Gore giving a thumbs up in the center of it. ]
Chris & Pete: You all need trees. Trees.
