Weekend Update- Kyle Mooney


Michael Che

Kyle Mooney

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: The Academy Awards are tomorrow. Here to break everything down is resident movie buff, Kyle Mooney.

[Kyle Mooney slides in] [cheers and applause]

Kyle Mooney: What’s up, Mike? Oscar Sunday! Let’s do this! Yay!

Michael Che: Ah! You seem pretty excited.

Kyle Mooney: Of course, man. Everybody all dressed up. It’s going down! [loud voice] Big Mike!

Michael Che: No one calls me that.

Kyle Mooney: Ha-ha. Mike, Colin, me, the boys. But um, what’s the plan on Sunday? Where are we gonna watch the the big show?

[Colin Jost and Michael Che looks confused]

Michael Che: Oh! Actually, we don’t know yet.

Colin Jost: Don’t.

Michael Che: [awkwardly] I’m still trying to figure out what I’m gonna do. Hey, who do you got for best picture this year?

Kyle Mooney: I’ll get to that. But, what about you, Colin? Don’t you usually do like, a big Oscar party, like, every year or something?

Colin Jost: What’s that? No. Sometimes. No. I’m actually not sure yet.

Kyle Mooney: Really? Coz I thought I heard some people saying you might be doing a big thing this year. That’s not going down no more?

Colin Jost: I mean, I guess I was thinking about doing something but I don’t know if it’s really gonna come together.

Kyle Mooney: Okay. [looking disappointed] Um, coz you like– Ha-ha. Coz you like– You wouldn’t just not invite me, right?

Colin Jost: What? No. If I was doing one, you would definitely be there. You’d be invited for sure.

Kyle Mooney: Dope! Alright. Let’s just do it at my place coz Michael, you said you for sure don’t have any plans yet. Right?

Michael Che: I said that? [looks at Colin]

Colin Jost: Please don’t tell him.

Kyle Mooney: Wait, what’s that?

Colin Jost: What’s that? No. Che and I were talking. We gotta figure something out later.

Kyle Mooney: Okay, how about we figure this out right now? So, Big Mike, what time are we thinking? Like, 10 AM start? I think my brother and his girl might roll over too. She actually might bring her boss.

Michael Che: So the group would be you, your brother, his girlfriend and her boss?

Kyle Mooney: Hell, yeah! And then, you and Colin. Since you guys don’t have plans.

Michael Che: [to Colin] We have to–

Kyle Mooney: Right?

Michael Che: [to Colin] We gotta tell him.

Kyle Mooney: Coz, I gotta be honest, I’m starting to think that maybe Colin is having a party and he’s not inviting me because you guys don’t like me. [Colin Jost and Michael Che are silent] I mean, this kind of feels like middle school where people would be fake to me because I didn’t wear named brand shoes. Is that the problem? That I don’t wear name brand shoes?

Colin Jost: No.

Michael Che: No.

Colin Jost: It’s definitely not.

Kyle Mooney: Okay. Well, then what is it? Say it to my face. Or invite me to your party. Oh, wait! I guess the party isn’t happening anymore even though I just found this?

[Kyle Mooney shows a flyer. It’s Colin’s Big Oscar Party flyer.]

Colin Jost: Alright, fine. Kyle, I’m sorry. I’m throwing a party. It’s just that you and I are not that close and I couldn’t invite everyone. Okay? I’m sorry, man.

Kyle Mooney: Okay. And you’re positive it has nothing to do with my shoes?

[Kyle Mooney puts his shoes on the desk. It has all the branding names wrong.]

Michael Che: What is that? Beebok? [fake Reebok]

Colin Jost: Those are Beeboks Yeah. Alright, fine. It’s coz of your off brand shoes. Okay?

Kyle Mooney: They’re cheaper. They’re just as good as the real thing. I mean, hey, we only make eight bucks an hour here, right?

Michael Che: Oh, no!

Kyle Mooney: Wait! You guys make more than that?

Michael Che: Kyle Mooney, everyone!

Kyle Mooney: Ah, man!

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x