Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a calendar marked on February 2018 at right top corner.]
Michael Che: This week marks the start of, “Okay, but what about white history month?”[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Super Bowl logo at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Tomorrow night, the New England Patriots will face the Philadelphia Eagles on Super Bowl 52. So whether you’re Pats fan or Eagles fan, remember, child support was due on the first.[Picture changes to the movie “The Passion of the Christ”.]
It was reported that a sequel is in the works for the Mel Gibson movie “The Passion of the Christ.” So, get ready to see, “I still know what Jews did last summer.” You know, I refuse to see another “Passion of the Christ” movie unless Jesus has a line, “You crossed the wrong guy.”[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of South African flag and a tap at right top corner.]
Michael Che: [laughing]
Colin Jost: Nailed it!
Michael Che: No. [cheers and applause] Experts are saying that Cape Town, South Africa will completely run out of water on April 12. Meanwhile in the rest of the world, [Cut to a video of a mouse taking bath using soap.] [Cut to Michael Che] It’s pretty insane that a major city is about to completely run out of water in like, two months and I’m just now hearing about this. This is kind of embarrassing. I feel like I should care more about Africa. Kind of like when you run into an old friend and ask, “Hey, how’s your kid?” And she’s like, “Che, he’s your son too.”