Weekend Update on International Women’s Day 2018


Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of McDonald’s arches put upside down making it a “W” at right top corner.]

Michael Che: McDonald’s celebrated international women’s day by turning it’s golden arches upside down. Not to be out-done, In-N-Out Burger changed its name to “Adequate Foreplay.”

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a barbie at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Also, in honor of international women’s day, barbie has released a new Amelia Earhart doll. It’s the only barbie that’s gotta be around here somewhere.

[Picture changes to gummy bears]

Three daycare workers in Chicago were arrested for giving gummy bears laced with sleep inducing melatonin to a class of two year olds. Worse, they woke them up with cocaine.

[Cut to Michael Che. There are pictures of map of West Virginia and people in strike at right top corner.]

Michael Che: West Virginia law makers reached a deal with public school teachers to end their strike and give them a 5% pay rise. Good. Nobody’s more underpaid than public school teachers. You ever see a faculty parking lot? Teachers drive cars made by companies that don’t even make cars. My dad is a public school teacher. He drives a 97 Frigidare.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a bottle with a message written on it at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: A family in Australia has discovered what’s believed to be the world’s oldest message in a bottle which was thrown into the sea over 130 years ago by a then middle aged Bernie Sanders.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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