Pete Davidson[Starts with Michael Che in his set]
Michael Che: With temperatures in the 70s, spring has officially come to New York. Here to talk about his favorite season is our own Pete Davidson.[Pete Davidson slides in] [cheers and applause]
Pete Davidson: Wad up, man? Hi, Michael.
Michael Che: Hi, Pete.
Pete Davidson: So I actually kind of lied. I’m not really gonna talk about spring. I just needed a way to get out here so I could talk about what’s really on my mind. Which is that you guys are hosting the Emmy’s this year. [cheers and applause] Relax! I’m a little sick about it. No, it’s bad enough watching you guys strut around this place with all your accomplishments. Head writers, update hosts, [pointing at Colin Jost] Harvard, [pointing at Michael Che] black. You got it all, man. Who made this decision? What did that sound like? “Any idea for a host this year? How about less entertaining version of Riggs and Murtaugh?
Michael Che: Alright, that’s-
Pete Davidson: No, I’m kidding. No, I think it’s great that Emmy hosts now are just cute friends. That’s awesome. How’s hosting next year? Squirrel and a cat? No, I know what happened. America saw you read a joke [pointing at Colin Jost] and then you read a different joke [pointing at Michael Che], and they were like, “What a chemistry!”
Michael Che: Pete, are you jealous?
Pete Davidson: No. I’m not jealous because it’s actually the worst job you can get in the show business. I just mad that you guys get to do it. I never would have done it but I would have done it if I knew it would keep you guys from doing it. Does that make sense? But seriously guys, how does it taste, boys?
Michael Che: What?
Colin Jost: Don’t ask.
Michael Che: How does what taste?
Pete Davidson: Warren Littlefield’s nuts! He runs NBC, I looked it up. How else are you getting these jobs? I know you’re doing the boss.
Michael Che: Pete, Warren Littlefield hasn’t worked in like, 20 years.
Pete Davidson: Well, South West needs to get some new magazine.
Michael Che: What is your life, man?
Pete Davidson: Well, who cares? I went to the Emmy’s last year and it sucked. So, it doesn’t matter. Some guy just gets on stage wearing a funny hat. And everyone claps. And they just read off names forever. And the biggest nerd in the class gets to give a speech. It’s a ton of crap.
Michael Che: Pete, that sounds like a high school graduation. You didn’t even go to the Emmy’s last year.
Pete Davidson: Oh, yeah. I didn’t. No, it still sucked though.
Michael Che: It did? Pete, you know, if it makes you so mad that we’re hosting, you don’t have to watch.
Pete Davidson: Not watch and not support my friends? What do you think? I’m a monster? No, seriously guys, you know, you’re not just my friends. You’re my mentors. And I can’t wait to watch you guys hit it out on a park on your big night.
Michael Che: Aw, thanks man. Pete Davidson, everybody.
Pete Davidson: I hope they fail.