Westminster Daddy Show | Season 44 Episode 9

0
(0)

Kate McKinnon

Jerry… Matt Damon

Georgina Mont-Blanc… Aidy Bryant

Kenan Thompson

Tweedy Daddy… Alex Moffat

Business Daddy… Chris Redd

[Starts with the intro of 85th Annual West Minister Daddy show]

Announcer: Welcome back to the 85th Annual West Minister Daddy show.

[Cut to Kate and Jerryin their set]

Kate McKinnon: Well, it’s Christmas time, so you know what that means.

Jerry: I do. It means it’s time for the Daddy Show.

Kate McKinnon: It is.

Jerry: We are finally up to the best in show category and I have to say, this year’s competitors are raising the bar.

Kate McKinnon: They are indeed. For anyone just joining us, this is a dog show but for daddies.

Jerry: Now, what exactly is a daddy?

Kate McKinnon: Well, think George Clooney but achievable.

Jerry: Love that. It’s like we say –

Both: Any man can be a father, but it takes a hot middle-aged guy with a big job to be a daddy.

[Cut to the stage. Georgina Mont-Blanc walks in.]

Kate McKinnon: Oh, here comes out head judge, Georgina Mont-Blanc. What do you think she’s looking for from this year’s pack of daddies?

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Jerry: Our judges will be looking for men over the age of 46 with a little salt and pepper at the temples, some play money to throw around and a smug knowing smile that says “I do sex good”.

[Cut to Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Georgina Mont-Blanc: Bring out the daddies.

Kate McKinnon: And we’re off. [Golf daddy and his assistant start jogging around Georgina Mont-Blanc] Here comes the winner of the sporting group, West Palm Golf Daddy.

[Cut to Golf Daddy and his assistant]

Jerry: Golf Daddy is a consultant who loves hanging out with buddies at the 19th hole, which I’m told is slang for bar.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Kate McKinnon: Oh, that’s a funny daddy. He went through a divorce last year which is typical of the breed, lot of weekends away from home.

[Cut to Georgina Mont-Blanc, Golf Daddy and his assistant]

Jerry: Looks like the judge is [Georgina Mont-Blanc starts to put her hands on Golf Daddy’s teeth and look at his veneers] looking at his new veneers. Yes, it’s cute little joke about them is at least my ex can’t take these.

Kate McKinnon: Oh, that’s cute. I like that. Nice showing from Golf Daddy. [Golf daddy and his assistant leave] Okay.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Jerry: Oh, now, here comes my personal favorite. Winner of the teach me, Daddy group. It’s Berkeley Tweedy Daddy.

[Cut to Kenan and Tweedy Daddy walk around Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Kate McKinnon: Oh, yes. The Tweedy Daddy ought to have a long, elegant gape and this one does in spades.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Jerry: Notable traits, the breed are biking to work and being absolutely awful to waiters.

[Cut to Kenan, Tweedy Daddy and Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Georgina Mont-Blanc: Go ahead and bring him here.

Kenan: [Kenan talks to Tweedy Daddy like a dog] Yes. Tweedy Daddy, come here. And Tweedy Daddy right here. [Tweedy Daddy doesn’t listen to Kenan] Tweedy Daddy up on here. Tweedy Daddy right there. Tweedy Daddy right there. Here come Tweedy Daddy here. Get up Tweedy Daddy on here.

Tweedy Daddy: Maybe if you present the argument, better I respect it.

[Cut to Kenan, Tweedy Daddy and Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Jerry: Another trait of the breed, being an obstructionist a-hole.

[Cut to Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Georgina Mont-Blanc: Please, bring him here.

[Cut to Kenan, Tweedy Daddy and Georgina Mont-Blanc]

Tweedy Daddy: Please, debate me, coward.

Georgina Mont-Blanc:  That’s a DQ.

Kate McKinnon: Tweedy Daddy disqualified. Georgina is not taking any of that.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Jerry: She never does, wink wink.

Kate McKinnon: Stop. Here’s the next competitor, always a crowd favorite.

[Cut to Business Daddy and his assistant walk around Georgina Mont-Blanc.]

Jerry: From the working too much group, Wall Street Business Daddy.

[Business Daddy is busy on his phone]

Business Daddy: I don’t know when I’ll be there [Cut to Business Daddy and his assistant] but I played for V.I.P. parking so it shouldn’t Jerryer, period.

[Cut to Business Daddy, his assistant and Georgina Mont-Blanc.]

Jerry: Business Daddies are obsessed with efficiency. They love using the text-to-speech feature to text their fiances.

Kate McKinnon: Okay, judge is manipulating the Billfold. [Georgina Mont-Blanc takes Business Daddy’s wallet out and feels it]

Jerry: Yeah, what she’s looking for here is feeling for the give of cash and the firmness of a very heavy credit card.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Kate McKinnon: Yeah, I got to say, this daddy could get it.

Jerry: It’s not just about can this daddy get it, it’s about this daddy a champion?

Kate McKinnon: That’s right. Because all of these daddies could get it. Obviously they can get it because if they couldn’t get it, they wouldn’t be here.

Jerry: So true. Okay.

[Cut to the stage, Georgina Mont-Blanc, Golf Daddy and his assistant, and Business daddy and his assistant]

Georgina Mont-Blanc: Can I see the Business Daddy, the Golf Daddy, and the announcer.

[Cut to Kate and Jerry]

Jerry: Wait, what? I don’t even have a handler!

Kate McKinnon: You heard her, get down there! [Jerry goes] Oh, very exciting turn of events, folks. Jerry is the Pedigree Broadcast Daddy! [Cut to Jerry is running around the stage like the other daddies did before] Makes a little awkward sex joke, looks great holding a mic. He could take this. [Georgina Mont-Blanc tells other daddies to run with Jerry around the stage] Okay, go around. Wow. Okay, this might be how she wants them.

Georgina Mont-Blanc: Okay. Third Golf Daddy, Second Business Daddy, first, Broadcast Daddy!

Kate McKinnon: Wow! What a coup! Jerry takes best in show!

Jerry: Best daddy! I did it!

[Cut to Kate]

Kate McKinnon: What an exciting daddy show. Thank you for joining us. I don’t have a name. Goodnight.

[Ends with Outro]

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of