Mrs. Johnson… Melissa Villaseñor
Mr. Johnson… Mikey Day
Mom… Cecily Strong
Dad… James McAvoy
Aidy Bryant
Kenan Thompson
Jared… Beck Bennett
Spencer… Kyle Mooney
[Starts with a Super Bowl announcer’s sound coming out of a house]
Mrs. Johnson: Listen Dave. [Cut to six adults sitting inside the house watching Super Bowl] Thank you so much for inviting us to your Super Bowl party.
Mr. Johnson: Yeah. And seriously, these potato skins are insane.
Mom: OH, please.
Dad: We love having you.
[Cut to Aidy and Kenan]
Aidy Bryant: Oh, well. I’m just here to keep his eyes off those cheerleaders.
Kenan Thompson: Hey, no promises.
[Cut to everybody laughing] [Spencer and Jared are fighting upstairs]
Spencer: Get off me!
Jared: Get off me!
Mr. Johnson: What was that noise?
Mom: Oh-oh. That’s our boys, [Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, Dad and Mom] acting up ever since I got remarried.
Dad: Hey, you guys, ya’ll want to meet ‘em?
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson]
Mrs. Johnson: Sure.
Dad: Hey, boys, [Cut to everybody] come out down here and make the Johnson’s.
[Jared and Spencer come downstairs fighting]
Spencer: Get off me!
Jared: Get off me!
[Cut to Spencer and Jared]
Spencer: Stop hitting my nuts!
Jared: I’m not hitting your nuts!
Spencer: Get of my nuts!
[Dad sprays Jared and Spencer with water spray]
Jared and Spencer: Ah! Ah! Ah!
[Dad uses leaf blower on Jared and Spencer]
Dad: Boys. Now, come on. What’s gotten into you?
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Jared and Spencer: Sorry, sir.
[Cut to Dad, Jared and Spencer]
Dad: Am I going to have to tell you again? Am I going to have to turn this hose on you and blow you again? Or ya’ll goin’ be good boys?
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Jared and Spencer: We’ll be good boys, sir.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, and Mom]
Mrs. Johnson: You keep a leaf blower in the house?
[Cut to Dad]
Dad: Well yes. Otherwise they’d be all wet.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, and Mom]
Mom: Okay, boys, now come say hello to the Johnson’s.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Jared: Hi Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. My name’s Jared. I play basketball.
Spencer: I’m Spencer. I’m younger than him, but I made all stars.
Jared: No, you didn’t
Spencer: Yes, I did. Coach told me.
Jared: You’re a liar!
[Spencer and Jared starts to fight again]
Spencer: Get off me!
Jared: Get off me!
[Cut to Dad, Jared and Spencer]
[Dad sprays Jared and Spencer with water spray]
Jared and Spencer: Ah! Ah! Ah!
[Dad uses leaf blower on Jared and Spencer]
Dad: Boys, now, this behavior is unacceptable.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Jared and Spencer: Yes, sir, we’re sorry, sir.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, and Mom]
Mom: Spencer, come show the Johnson’s a campbell’s what you’ve been working on?
Mr. Johnson: Actually, we kind of want to go now.
Mrs. Johnson: Did you two know about this?
[Cut to Kenan and Aidy]
Aidy Bryant: Yeah, I think we blocked it out.
Kenan Thompson: Yeah. Yeah, we definitely chose to forget.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Spencer: Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, this is my touchdown dance. [Spencer starts to dance]
Jared: What? That’s my touchdown dance. [Jared starts to dance with Spencer]
Spencer: You’re not even doing it right!
Jared: I’m doing it perfect!
Spencer: Oh yeah? Explain this. Ow! Mr. and Mrs. Johnson this is the dance. Right?
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson]
Jared: Mr. and Mrs. Johnson is this a dance?
[Cut to Jared and Spencer dancing]
Spencer: Which one of the touchdown dancers Mr. and Mrs Johnson?
Jared: Is this the dance Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?
Spencer: That’s not the dance. [Spencer carries a chair and hits Jared with it]
Jared: You’re dead! [Jared grabs Spencer’s shirt and throws him into TV breaking the TV] Live from the Super Bowl, it’s my brother! He broke the TV. [Jared jumps over Spencer]
[Dad sprays Jared and Spencer with water spray]
[Dad uses leaf blower on Jared and Spencer]
Dad: Well, that’s the last time, dammit. Ya’ll are embarrassing us in front of our company.
Jared: Sorry sir. He started it.
Spencer: He’s stupid!
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Jared: Oh, I’m stupid? Well, they tried to abandon you. Dad, tell him.
Spencer: Wait, what?
[Cut to Dad]
Dad: Oh, god.
Spencer: He’s stupid!
Jared: Go on, dad. Tell him what happened.
Spencer: Dad—what’s he talking about?
[Cut to Dad, Jared and Spencer]
Dad: Well—you know Spence—you know how you were an accident?
Spencer: Yeah.
Dad: And your mama and your first daddy weren’t planning on having a second?
Spencer: Mm-hmm.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson]
Mr. Johnson: Why do you talk to him this way?
[Cut to Dad]
Dad: Well, Spence, after you were born, she put you up for adoption, but the family that adopted you, they brought you back.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Spencer: So – so there was – there was nobody that wanted me?
[Cut to Mom]
Mom: No. But you were meant to come back to us, sweetie. And every day since has been the best day of our lives.
[Cut to Dad]
Dad: That’s right, son. Now, why don’t you give each other ten apology kisses.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer]
Spencer and Jared: Aw, yes, sir.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson]
Mr. Johnson: But why, though?
[Cut to Jared and Spencer kissing nine times]
Mom: Hey. [Cut to Mom] That was only nine.
[Cut to Jared and Spencer kissing one more time]
Spencer and Jared: Aw. Good night Mr. and Mrs. Johnson.
[Cut to everyone. Spencer and Jared are running upstairs]
Spencer: Go!
Mom: Well, sorry you guys. I think the TV might be broken.
[Cut to Aidy and Kenan]
Aidy Bryant: Yeah, your son’s head went through it.
[Cut to everyone]
Dad: Hey, ya’ll want to go upstairs and watch with the boys?
Everybody: No.
[Dad runs upstairs]
